So, apparently, I’m a real peach.
In August 2008, my daughter broke her FRONT, bottom tooth playing soccer. It was a hot, sticky Sunday afternoon and it was misery. The root was exposed and she was in pain. Lucky for us the best endodontist in the world (email me for a referral!) came to the rescue (on a Sunday!)and repaired what could be repaired and sent us on our way. Because of the nitrous, she couldn’t play soccer the rest of the day, but we did make it back out to the fields to watch what remained of the “First (and only) Annual Coach #2 Jamboree.”
Since August 2008, we have had six temporary crowns and a root canal on that tooth. The bonding wouldn’t stick to what tooth we had left and we had to wait for more than a year to have the root canal b/c the root was not mature enough to have said procedure.
Finally, MyGirl got a permanent crown – well, a so-called permanent crown. I say that only because in MyGirl’s case, it was NOT permanent. She broke this $1400 tooth playing ping pong on New Years Eve.
I talked to the cosmetic dentist that wants to replace her old, broken crown with another “permanent” porcelain crown. I talked to friend’s dad, who was a dentist, he recommended acrylic temporary crown. I talked to another cosmetic dentist who gave completely different advice. (UGGH!)
Hubs took MyGirl to her pediatric dentist (with specific directions to get a recommendation about what to do with the tooth/crown). This dentist would not give an opinion either way. Hubs decided to give me a call after already making a follow-up appointment for sealants and while standing in the lobby.
Frustrated and on the verge of breakdown, I said, “Can I please just talk to the dentist?”
I mean seriously – it’s her FRONT TOOTH.
Hubs: “ I’m already in the lobby.”
Me: “Okay – then let me talk to the receptionist.”
Receptionist and I have a quick conversation about which dentist should call me back and when he would call me back.
Receptionist lady hands my husband the phone back. She must have thought I hung up, b/c while handing husband the phone, she says sarcastically, “Boy - She’s a real peach.”
Hubs: “Tell me about it.”
So while there are not two dentists in Middle Tennessee that could give the same opinion on a 10-year-old’s tooth…. There are two people that agree that I am, in fact, a peach.
We ended up with a stainless-backed, porcelain crown. So far it’s holding up just fine. (Bowing my head and saying quick prayer that sentence remains true.)
MyGirl also now wears a mouthguard – most of the time. And when she doesn’t, I have to go all “peachy” on her…
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Divine Secrets of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Soccer Pants
In a perfect world, travel soccer would be all sunshine and lollipops. The friendships that MyGirl makes on this team would last a lifetime and all of her teammates would keep in touch through college and send handwritten letters to each other, have frequent reunions, be in each others weddings and be godmothers of each others children. One of the girls would write a best-selling book about the strong bonds of friendship that travel soccer gave them and that book would eventually be turned into a screenplay.
In the real world, it is not all sunshine and lollipops. It’s not sweet – at all. (I think I can safely guarantee that when MyGirl’s team steps off the field after a game, the other team doesn’t profess how sweet and kind they are.)
AND - I would venture to guess that MyGirl’s team would be classified as one of the more physical teams. (I know the parents on MyGirl’s team are smiling as they read that sentence.)
The team used to do this drill before warm-ups. Each girl had a penny (a colored practice jersey) tucked into the back of their shorts. All the girls had to run around and pull the penny out of each others shorts while making sure that their penny didn’t get pulled. The girl with the last penny was the winner. Fun, right? Sure – until they start FULL-ON tackling each other to get the pennies. On the sidelines, the parents were more worried about the girls getting hurt by their own teammates during warm-ups than during a game. They literally used to beat the crap out of each other.
Body checks came naturally to these girls and they do it all the time, even harder during practice (no refs to call fouls during practice). So, you can try to knock these girls down during a game, but I don’t know how far you would get. They can dig in and stay standing no matter what hits them -- for the most part. And back in the day, before the girls skills matched their opponents – this was their biggest line of defense. Their brute force went a long way.
That said, MyGirl’s team gets called for a lot of fouls. And sometimes, I think they aren’t really fouls – but I’m biased. One of StrikerGirl’s best comments after a game was, “I DID NOT TRIP HER. She just fell down.” I totally believe her.
It used to be that when MyGirl was pushed around on the field, she would retaliate the next time she was around that player. (It took a yellow card to learn that retaliation directly after being pushed around is grounds for... a yellow card.)
Now these girls know each other so much better. They love each other in a way that only teammates can. They take up for one another. So MyGirl doesn’t have to wait until she’s around that player that pushed her around, because one of her teammates will get that girl for her. I know that sounds TERRIBLE. But soccer is a contact sport.
They still push each other around during practice. But there’s an unwritten, unspoken code – “I can take my teammate out, but YOU better not touch her.”
In the words of Ludacris…. “[They’re] not playing around, Make one false move, [They’ll] take you down. So Get Back, you don’t know [them] like that.”
So, yes… The musical stylings of Ludacris are more likely to describe this team than a book called “Sunshine and Soccer Balls,” but there are definitely ties that bind these girls together – a sisterhood. And the longer these girls stay together, the stronger the binding is gonna' get. If I played soccer, I’d rather play with them than against them.
In the real world, it is not all sunshine and lollipops. It’s not sweet – at all. (I think I can safely guarantee that when MyGirl’s team steps off the field after a game, the other team doesn’t profess how sweet and kind they are.)
AND - I would venture to guess that MyGirl’s team would be classified as one of the more physical teams. (I know the parents on MyGirl’s team are smiling as they read that sentence.)
The team used to do this drill before warm-ups. Each girl had a penny (a colored practice jersey) tucked into the back of their shorts. All the girls had to run around and pull the penny out of each others shorts while making sure that their penny didn’t get pulled. The girl with the last penny was the winner. Fun, right? Sure – until they start FULL-ON tackling each other to get the pennies. On the sidelines, the parents were more worried about the girls getting hurt by their own teammates during warm-ups than during a game. They literally used to beat the crap out of each other.
Body checks came naturally to these girls and they do it all the time, even harder during practice (no refs to call fouls during practice). So, you can try to knock these girls down during a game, but I don’t know how far you would get. They can dig in and stay standing no matter what hits them -- for the most part. And back in the day, before the girls skills matched their opponents – this was their biggest line of defense. Their brute force went a long way.
That said, MyGirl’s team gets called for a lot of fouls. And sometimes, I think they aren’t really fouls – but I’m biased. One of StrikerGirl’s best comments after a game was, “I DID NOT TRIP HER. She just fell down.” I totally believe her.
It used to be that when MyGirl was pushed around on the field, she would retaliate the next time she was around that player. (It took a yellow card to learn that retaliation directly after being pushed around is grounds for... a yellow card.)
Now these girls know each other so much better. They love each other in a way that only teammates can. They take up for one another. So MyGirl doesn’t have to wait until she’s around that player that pushed her around, because one of her teammates will get that girl for her. I know that sounds TERRIBLE. But soccer is a contact sport.
They still push each other around during practice. But there’s an unwritten, unspoken code – “I can take my teammate out, but YOU better not touch her.”
In the words of Ludacris…. “[They’re] not playing around, Make one false move, [They’ll] take you down. So Get Back, you don’t know [them] like that.”
So, yes… The musical stylings of Ludacris are more likely to describe this team than a book called “Sunshine and Soccer Balls,” but there are definitely ties that bind these girls together – a sisterhood. And the longer these girls stay together, the stronger the binding is gonna' get. If I played soccer, I’d rather play with them than against them.
Clearly I'm exaggerating. Do these beauty queens look like they could really hurt someone?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Say It Ain't So
This soccer year is officially over and it was a good one. I certainly had a good time watching MyGirl and all of her friends play lots of good soccer. I have to admit at the beginning of Fall, I was a bit nervous.
Coach #3 scared me a little bit at first. He’s very direct. If you ask him a question, please make sure that you are ready to hear the answer. At our first team meeting, he laid down his rules. I remember one rule in particular:
‘You are strictly prohibited from having conversations with him if you are upset directly after practice or a game. If you would like to schedule a time to discuss an issue with him, he is happy to do so. You must wait at least three days to allow yourself to calm down so that you can have a rational, adult conversation.’
(Hmmm, I believe three days is exactly the waiting period for a handgun permit, JUST KIDDING – where we live handguns are not allowed in public parks. Teehee.)
Turns out – I ended up really liking Coach #3. And more importantly, so did MyGirl.
The girls worked hard and learned so much so just like we have every other year, we planned an end-of-the-year party. MyPartnerInCrime (MPIC) had it at her house.
(She’s StrikerGirl’s mom and she is HILARIOUS. MPIC is one of the top five things I LOVE about Travel Soccer. Her husband UTDad – is another one of the top five things.)
She is always a great hostess. The weather was PERFECT for a pool party and luckily – MPIC has an awesome pool with an awesome backyard.
Now, since I have appointed myself the Chairman of the Fun Committee, when MPIC suggested we make tie-dye shirts for the girls, I reluctantly agreed. I have made tie-dyed shirts at least 50 times and I am a self-proclaimed Queen of it. (Self-esteem issues? I think not.)
While the weather was perfect for a pool party, it was too dang hot for standing in the hot, hot sun to tie-dye t-shirts. I downed one diet coke and 4 Gatorades by the time it was over and I swear I would still be there right now if another mom hadn’t stepped in to help me. (Thanks!)
Anyway, the girls and their siblings were splashing around and coming out in small groups to dye their shirts while the other mom and I melted in the sun while explaining precisely how to get the perfect swirl. Every now and again, we could hear a loud laugh from the shaded patio where all the other parents were sitting.
The shirt dying was over at exactly the same time that the food was ready. So, the tie-dye station was cleaned up it was finally time for me and the other mom to sit in the shade and laugh. The food was delicious. And everyone had a really good time. Pictures are starting to roll in of the girls in their shirts and they look fabulous. (The girls and the shirts!)
I am going to miss this year. It’s been fun. The girls have been successful: Four tournaments entered…. Four hard-fought Championship games…. Four Finalist medals. And really – that doesn’t even measure their improvement.
Try-outs are in one-and-a-half weeks. I don’t know who MyGirl’s coach is going to be next year or what team she’ll be on. I don’t know what next year is going to be like or who the parents are that I’ll be sitting with on the sidelines. But, whatever happens, it will be fine.
I do have one concern: I have to find another project for next year’s end-of-the-year party. AND – it’s got to be better than Tie Dye!! Suggestions welcome.
Note to self: Don’t start with the good stuff.
Coach #3 scared me a little bit at first. He’s very direct. If you ask him a question, please make sure that you are ready to hear the answer. At our first team meeting, he laid down his rules. I remember one rule in particular:
‘You are strictly prohibited from having conversations with him if you are upset directly after practice or a game. If you would like to schedule a time to discuss an issue with him, he is happy to do so. You must wait at least three days to allow yourself to calm down so that you can have a rational, adult conversation.’
(Hmmm, I believe three days is exactly the waiting period for a handgun permit, JUST KIDDING – where we live handguns are not allowed in public parks. Teehee.)
Turns out – I ended up really liking Coach #3. And more importantly, so did MyGirl.
The girls worked hard and learned so much so just like we have every other year, we planned an end-of-the-year party. MyPartnerInCrime (MPIC) had it at her house.
(She’s StrikerGirl’s mom and she is HILARIOUS. MPIC is one of the top five things I LOVE about Travel Soccer. Her husband UTDad – is another one of the top five things.)
She is always a great hostess. The weather was PERFECT for a pool party and luckily – MPIC has an awesome pool with an awesome backyard.
Now, since I have appointed myself the Chairman of the Fun Committee, when MPIC suggested we make tie-dye shirts for the girls, I reluctantly agreed. I have made tie-dyed shirts at least 50 times and I am a self-proclaimed Queen of it. (Self-esteem issues? I think not.)
While the weather was perfect for a pool party, it was too dang hot for standing in the hot, hot sun to tie-dye t-shirts. I downed one diet coke and 4 Gatorades by the time it was over and I swear I would still be there right now if another mom hadn’t stepped in to help me. (Thanks!)
Anyway, the girls and their siblings were splashing around and coming out in small groups to dye their shirts while the other mom and I melted in the sun while explaining precisely how to get the perfect swirl. Every now and again, we could hear a loud laugh from the shaded patio where all the other parents were sitting.
The shirt dying was over at exactly the same time that the food was ready. So, the tie-dye station was cleaned up it was finally time for me and the other mom to sit in the shade and laugh. The food was delicious. And everyone had a really good time. Pictures are starting to roll in of the girls in their shirts and they look fabulous. (The girls and the shirts!)
I am going to miss this year. It’s been fun. The girls have been successful: Four tournaments entered…. Four hard-fought Championship games…. Four Finalist medals. And really – that doesn’t even measure their improvement.
Try-outs are in one-and-a-half weeks. I don’t know who MyGirl’s coach is going to be next year or what team she’ll be on. I don’t know what next year is going to be like or who the parents are that I’ll be sitting with on the sidelines. But, whatever happens, it will be fine.
I do have one concern: I have to find another project for next year’s end-of-the-year party. AND – it’s got to be better than Tie Dye!! Suggestions welcome.
Note to self: Don’t start with the good stuff.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Girls vs Boys
When Coach #2 was tricked into taking My Girl’s team (teehee), he never knew what he was getting himself into. I don’t think he knew how much the girls would miss Coach #1 – the faux-hawk, the jokes, the accent. I don’t think he knew how unskilled we were. I really don’t think he knew how much he would like that group of girls.
Now, I’m just going to tell you – those girls are workers. They are strong and they are fighters (sometimes literally – EEK!). They are rough and they are tough and they might not be the best, but they want to be – and “want” goes a long, long way. (Rough and tough go a long way, too – but I’ll save that for another post.)
Anyway – I digress. Coach #2 also coached a group of boys that were one year younger than My Girl's team. Those boys were (and are) fast, skilled and determined. They had Coach #2 for four months longer than we did and they were better than us. I remember the first time I watched one of their games; his players were dropping the ball back to the goalie to switch the field – SEVEN years old. They were organized and had methods to their madness. We were one step above kickball.
Coach #2 wanted to see My Girl’s team play a real game before the first outdoor tournament. He wanted to see if all of the hardworking drills had actually given the girls some real-life, game skills. So we scrimmaged his boys. Needless to say, the girls went home with a loss. But, my guess – some of those boys went home a little bit afraid of what a girl (or a sister) might be capable of.
The next time we scrimmaged, we lost by less and eventually we tied. That’s right – TIED – which if I remember correctly felt like a win to the girls and a loss for the boys. In the two years that My Girl had Coach #2, her team scrimmaged those boys more times than I can count. The girls practiced with them, had pick-up games with them and really got to know them. You probably won’t find bigger fans of that team than the players (and parents) on My Girl’s team – and I would like to think that those boys and their parents are just as big of fans as our team.
As time passed, we got Coach #3 and we didn’t get to see those boys so much anymore. And we definitely didn’t get to play with or against them.
A couple weeks ago, the girls got to scrimmage them again during practice. Some of the girls were so excited. That morning, one of the girls woke up, wiped the sleep out of her eyes and said, “I can’t wait to beat the crap out of those boys tonight.” I know and love that child, and I’ll bet she never says that before she plays “That Blue Team” that is located 30 minutes northeast of our town. Does she want to play “That Blue Team”? ABSOLUTELY!! But for a different reason.
The rivalry between Coach #2’s Boys is one of the most enjoyable things about travel soccer for My Girl. When the girls play them, they have a swagger in their step. They play loose and free and we all get to see them playing soccer at their best. They are all “on” and it seems like everyone is having a good day at the fields.
There are no refs and the score when the whistle blows only matters for bragging rights. Winning doesn’t get the girls any closer to the finals and there is no medal given at the end of the game. My Girl and her teammates know these boys and what they are capable of. And the fact that the girls can compete with them – win, lose or tie – means that the girls know what they are capable of too.
It’s refreshing. It’s fun. It’s progress.
Now, I’m just going to tell you – those girls are workers. They are strong and they are fighters (sometimes literally – EEK!). They are rough and they are tough and they might not be the best, but they want to be – and “want” goes a long, long way. (Rough and tough go a long way, too – but I’ll save that for another post.)
Anyway – I digress. Coach #2 also coached a group of boys that were one year younger than My Girl's team. Those boys were (and are) fast, skilled and determined. They had Coach #2 for four months longer than we did and they were better than us. I remember the first time I watched one of their games; his players were dropping the ball back to the goalie to switch the field – SEVEN years old. They were organized and had methods to their madness. We were one step above kickball.
Coach #2 wanted to see My Girl’s team play a real game before the first outdoor tournament. He wanted to see if all of the hardworking drills had actually given the girls some real-life, game skills. So we scrimmaged his boys. Needless to say, the girls went home with a loss. But, my guess – some of those boys went home a little bit afraid of what a girl (or a sister) might be capable of.
The next time we scrimmaged, we lost by less and eventually we tied. That’s right – TIED – which if I remember correctly felt like a win to the girls and a loss for the boys. In the two years that My Girl had Coach #2, her team scrimmaged those boys more times than I can count. The girls practiced with them, had pick-up games with them and really got to know them. You probably won’t find bigger fans of that team than the players (and parents) on My Girl’s team – and I would like to think that those boys and their parents are just as big of fans as our team.
As time passed, we got Coach #3 and we didn’t get to see those boys so much anymore. And we definitely didn’t get to play with or against them.
A couple weeks ago, the girls got to scrimmage them again during practice. Some of the girls were so excited. That morning, one of the girls woke up, wiped the sleep out of her eyes and said, “I can’t wait to beat the crap out of those boys tonight.” I know and love that child, and I’ll bet she never says that before she plays “That Blue Team” that is located 30 minutes northeast of our town. Does she want to play “That Blue Team”? ABSOLUTELY!! But for a different reason.
The rivalry between Coach #2’s Boys is one of the most enjoyable things about travel soccer for My Girl. When the girls play them, they have a swagger in their step. They play loose and free and we all get to see them playing soccer at their best. They are all “on” and it seems like everyone is having a good day at the fields.
There are no refs and the score when the whistle blows only matters for bragging rights. Winning doesn’t get the girls any closer to the finals and there is no medal given at the end of the game. My Girl and her teammates know these boys and what they are capable of. And the fact that the girls can compete with them – win, lose or tie – means that the girls know what they are capable of too.
It’s refreshing. It’s fun. It’s progress.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Some Clarity on Parity
So, you wanna know what parity is? (Or maybe you don't.) It's kind of this theory about how to develop players in youth soccer. Let me explain it this way....
When we went to our first soccer try-outs way back when my girl was seven (three years ago), this a lady stood in front of all the parents and said something like this (Reader's Digest version):
"This is NOT rec soccer."
We all know what rec soccer is, right? It's when we practice once a week and then play a game on Saturday. And we do it for 8 weeks. No one is supposed to keep score - but they do and actually so do the refs. And so do the parents - you KNOW they do. Everyone has to play at least a half and it's all about exercise and learning fundamental soccer skills.
But here's the rub - most of the time in rec soccer (in my area), the coaches are usually just one kid's parent who may or may not know anything at all about soccer except that you can't touch the ball with your hands and you win if you score more goals than the other team. So, how many fundamental soccer skills are these kids actually learning? And from whom.
SIDEBAR - I am in no way speaking negatively towards any rec soccer coach either my boy or my girl ever had. I can't tell you how much I appreciated the boy's coach that carried around a copy of Soccer for Dummies. He was trying. And I'm giving him his props. Loved that guy and bought him a nice gift certificate at the end of the season.
So, we are not playing rec soccer. We are playing competitive soccer. No guarantee you even make the team. Well it turns out, in our case, after our first try-outs - everyone made the team. Twelve people tried out. Twelve people made the team. We played 6v6 which means six people could be on the field at a time. So, when we played in the six games of our first Fall season.... there were five people on the bench. No one got that much playing time - which made it nice because you couldn't ever tell if your kid made the mistake that caused one of those resounding goals as she was only in for like four minutes at a time.
So after those crazy six games that I will never ever forget (mostly because my girl won't let me), we added a few new players, enough to divide the team. So, how are we going to divide? Are we going to take the top nine players and put them on one team and the bottom nine on the second team - which I call "A/B". Or are we going to line kids up with similar ability and put them on the opposite teams to play "parity." (Sometimes called the "Academy" program.)
As it was explained to me, the good thing about parity is that in long run it's better for the team. If the kids with the most talent are constantly challenging the lesser kids, those kids will get better. So when we move from 6v6 to 8v8 or 11v11, we will have a larger pool of good soccer players to choose from. Good theory, right? Well - it is at least a theory.
Something didn't sit right with me about this theory. What about the kids with the most talent? Who is going to challenge them? Their counterpart is on the other team.
So those were my first thoughts. And since we have this lovely invention called the internet (Thanks Al Gore!) I thought I would just look it up.
Searching "parity soccer"
Searching "development of youth soccer players"
Searching "theories youth soccer"
Nothing, Nathan, Nada. I couldn't find anything written about the benefits of parity on the internet anywhere. I found the Youth Soccer Guidelines, which do recommend parity - but then I thought, "Yeah, but what's their motive?" How PC would it be if they recommended a cut-throat youth soccer program for seven-year-olds? Do you think Publix would nationally sponsor that organization?
So, my "research" continued by talking to some friends that have kids play on travel teams for other youth sports. Does baseball do that? Ummm, no. The parent I talked to said they actually have only one team and cut kids. And it's perfectly acceptable to say, "My kid didn't make it this year, so we're going to work hard and try again next year." Same with softball.
And guess what - when year-round swim teams put together two or more relay teams for a swim meet, they don't take the top two swimmers and have them compete against each other. You won't set any meet records that way.
When that was brought up, "they" said that you can't compare soccer to other competitive sports because it's so different. (???)
Okay - no worries. I'll look at the club's websites that won the Division I National Championship's and see what their clubs do.... well, guess what, it ain't parity.
Now, to be fair. The recommendations given by US Youth Soccer for parity are to go through the U11 age bracket and then the recommendation is to split to an "A" team and a "B" team. AND there are many, many clubs that have an Academy Program. And some of those Academies play parity - and some pretend they play parity.
And some have an Academy program and a Travel Program. In these cases, it seems (I don't really know, but from the websites, it seems) that the Academy teams play travel soccer in local areas and play in local tournaments while the Travel teams play anywhere and everywhere they can get a game or get accepted into a tournament.
So now, in case you haven't inferred my opinion about parity soccer, I'm just going to tell you. I don't like it. I think that they should group people of the same abilities.
Here's why:
1. If you play parity, the better players don't get challenged as much. (Can you strengthen the weak by weakening the strong?)
2. Playing parity, doesn't do anything to help the confidence of the lesser players and more times than not, a team that is confident in their abilities will win. (Especially, when they are playing a team that is OVER-confident.)
3. If you play A/B, it promotes leadership from players from all levels. And some teams are dying for leadership.
Now keep in mind, I am nothing but a soccer mom with an opinion. Take it or leave it, but now, you know what it is - maybe...
When we went to our first soccer try-outs way back when my girl was seven (three years ago), this a lady stood in front of all the parents and said something like this (Reader's Digest version):
"This is NOT rec soccer."
We all know what rec soccer is, right? It's when we practice once a week and then play a game on Saturday. And we do it for 8 weeks. No one is supposed to keep score - but they do and actually so do the refs. And so do the parents - you KNOW they do. Everyone has to play at least a half and it's all about exercise and learning fundamental soccer skills.
But here's the rub - most of the time in rec soccer (in my area), the coaches are usually just one kid's parent who may or may not know anything at all about soccer except that you can't touch the ball with your hands and you win if you score more goals than the other team. So, how many fundamental soccer skills are these kids actually learning? And from whom.
SIDEBAR - I am in no way speaking negatively towards any rec soccer coach either my boy or my girl ever had. I can't tell you how much I appreciated the boy's coach that carried around a copy of Soccer for Dummies. He was trying. And I'm giving him his props. Loved that guy and bought him a nice gift certificate at the end of the season.
So, we are not playing rec soccer. We are playing competitive soccer. No guarantee you even make the team. Well it turns out, in our case, after our first try-outs - everyone made the team. Twelve people tried out. Twelve people made the team. We played 6v6 which means six people could be on the field at a time. So, when we played in the six games of our first Fall season.... there were five people on the bench. No one got that much playing time - which made it nice because you couldn't ever tell if your kid made the mistake that caused one of those resounding goals as she was only in for like four minutes at a time.
So after those crazy six games that I will never ever forget (mostly because my girl won't let me), we added a few new players, enough to divide the team. So, how are we going to divide? Are we going to take the top nine players and put them on one team and the bottom nine on the second team - which I call "A/B". Or are we going to line kids up with similar ability and put them on the opposite teams to play "parity." (Sometimes called the "Academy" program.)
As it was explained to me, the good thing about parity is that in long run it's better for the team. If the kids with the most talent are constantly challenging the lesser kids, those kids will get better. So when we move from 6v6 to 8v8 or 11v11, we will have a larger pool of good soccer players to choose from. Good theory, right? Well - it is at least a theory.
Something didn't sit right with me about this theory. What about the kids with the most talent? Who is going to challenge them? Their counterpart is on the other team.
So those were my first thoughts. And since we have this lovely invention called the internet (Thanks Al Gore!) I thought I would just look it up.
Searching "parity soccer"
Searching "development of youth soccer players"
Searching "theories youth soccer"
Nothing, Nathan, Nada. I couldn't find anything written about the benefits of parity on the internet anywhere. I found the Youth Soccer Guidelines, which do recommend parity - but then I thought, "Yeah, but what's their motive?" How PC would it be if they recommended a cut-throat youth soccer program for seven-year-olds? Do you think Publix would nationally sponsor that organization?
So, my "research" continued by talking to some friends that have kids play on travel teams for other youth sports. Does baseball do that? Ummm, no. The parent I talked to said they actually have only one team and cut kids. And it's perfectly acceptable to say, "My kid didn't make it this year, so we're going to work hard and try again next year." Same with softball.
And guess what - when year-round swim teams put together two or more relay teams for a swim meet, they don't take the top two swimmers and have them compete against each other. You won't set any meet records that way.
When that was brought up, "they" said that you can't compare soccer to other competitive sports because it's so different. (???)
Okay - no worries. I'll look at the club's websites that won the Division I National Championship's and see what their clubs do.... well, guess what, it ain't parity.
Now, to be fair. The recommendations given by US Youth Soccer for parity are to go through the U11 age bracket and then the recommendation is to split to an "A" team and a "B" team. AND there are many, many clubs that have an Academy Program. And some of those Academies play parity - and some pretend they play parity.
And some have an Academy program and a Travel Program. In these cases, it seems (I don't really know, but from the websites, it seems) that the Academy teams play travel soccer in local areas and play in local tournaments while the Travel teams play anywhere and everywhere they can get a game or get accepted into a tournament.
So now, in case you haven't inferred my opinion about parity soccer, I'm just going to tell you. I don't like it. I think that they should group people of the same abilities.
Here's why:
1. If you play parity, the better players don't get challenged as much. (Can you strengthen the weak by weakening the strong?)
2. Playing parity, doesn't do anything to help the confidence of the lesser players and more times than not, a team that is confident in their abilities will win. (Especially, when they are playing a team that is OVER-confident.)
3. If you play A/B, it promotes leadership from players from all levels. And some teams are dying for leadership.
Now keep in mind, I am nothing but a soccer mom with an opinion. Take it or leave it, but now, you know what it is - maybe...
How It All Began
My daughter plays travel soccer. She’s only 10 now, but we are coming up on our fourth year of the madness. And I don’t exaggerate when I say "madness." Something about competitive sports brings out the competitiveness in everyone about everything.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I wasn’t competitive before travel soccer, because I was. I made it my mission to win at Candy Land – against three year olds. Think whatever you want about that, but I think it’s important to know that it’s okay to lose. And that it’s okay to win. And to know how it feels when you lose and your mother rubs it in your face for an entire week that, you are in fact, a smart and beautiful child, you just can’t seem to master Candy Land. And when you finally do beat your mom at Candy Land, you need to know how to rub it in her face – with grace and respect. Needless to say, my kids prefer to win, but they know that losing is just part of playing the game.
Okay – enough about my parenting, back to travel soccer – Our first fall season of travel soccer was misery. We were going up against teams that had been practicing together for a full year – or two. Our opponents were fast, knew their positions and had serious ball moves. Liz was 8. And just to clarify, we were playing against 8 year olds. We practiced twice a week for 1 ½ hours. We played only six games in four months and they were horrifying. We got creamed, skinned, shellacked and any other word you can think of that would equate to a 13 to nothing loss. (I do tend to exaggerate, but this time – it’s all for real.)
Now – here’s the amazing thing. After our last game of the fall season, most of the girls on the team didn’t want to give up. They wanted to get back. They wanted to win. And that is just what they did.
Our coach, Coach #1, was moving back to England and our manager found a replacement. It was sort of an amazing feat. We don’t really have many coaches to choose from in our area. And who on earth would take a team in the middle of a soccer year with such an outstanding record (Record Reminder: 0-6, with only one goal scored in the entire six games.)?
Enter Coach #2. We also picked up a few new girls so that we had enough players for two teams. At the time we played 6v6 so there were about 16 girls total. Now, Coach #2 came in and took over – no looking back. When he showed up to our first practice, he got right to business. He went from drill to drill. Practices started early and ended late. Additionally, he set up optional practices and optional trainings and optional pick-up games. When it rained, we made places to practice inside. On more than one occasion, we played on one quarter of a church gym floor while men played basketball on three sides of us.
Winter came and we continued to practice and practice and practice. Then we got brave and signed up for our first indoor tournament at a local high school.
The last practice before this tournament, Coach #2 looked at the girls and said, “Are we going to win tomorrow?” The new girls said, “YEAH!” with all the enthusiasm in the world. The girls who had been driven down Humiliation Lane the six games prior said nothing.
There were six teams in that tournament, two of them were ours. Both teams won their first travel soccer game that weekend. One of the teams, won their first tournament.
And so it went. With two teams, we needed two coaches and so another was hired. The girls were split into two teams. The split brought a little drama to our little team and opened my eyes to something I had never heard of before - “parity.” I had no idea what it was, but I definitely have an opinion now.
Are you surprised?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I wasn’t competitive before travel soccer, because I was. I made it my mission to win at Candy Land – against three year olds. Think whatever you want about that, but I think it’s important to know that it’s okay to lose. And that it’s okay to win. And to know how it feels when you lose and your mother rubs it in your face for an entire week that, you are in fact, a smart and beautiful child, you just can’t seem to master Candy Land. And when you finally do beat your mom at Candy Land, you need to know how to rub it in her face – with grace and respect. Needless to say, my kids prefer to win, but they know that losing is just part of playing the game.
Okay – enough about my parenting, back to travel soccer – Our first fall season of travel soccer was misery. We were going up against teams that had been practicing together for a full year – or two. Our opponents were fast, knew their positions and had serious ball moves. Liz was 8. And just to clarify, we were playing against 8 year olds. We practiced twice a week for 1 ½ hours. We played only six games in four months and they were horrifying. We got creamed, skinned, shellacked and any other word you can think of that would equate to a 13 to nothing loss. (I do tend to exaggerate, but this time – it’s all for real.)
Now – here’s the amazing thing. After our last game of the fall season, most of the girls on the team didn’t want to give up. They wanted to get back. They wanted to win. And that is just what they did.
Our coach, Coach #1, was moving back to England and our manager found a replacement. It was sort of an amazing feat. We don’t really have many coaches to choose from in our area. And who on earth would take a team in the middle of a soccer year with such an outstanding record (Record Reminder: 0-6, with only one goal scored in the entire six games.)?
Enter Coach #2. We also picked up a few new girls so that we had enough players for two teams. At the time we played 6v6 so there were about 16 girls total. Now, Coach #2 came in and took over – no looking back. When he showed up to our first practice, he got right to business. He went from drill to drill. Practices started early and ended late. Additionally, he set up optional practices and optional trainings and optional pick-up games. When it rained, we made places to practice inside. On more than one occasion, we played on one quarter of a church gym floor while men played basketball on three sides of us.
Winter came and we continued to practice and practice and practice. Then we got brave and signed up for our first indoor tournament at a local high school.
The last practice before this tournament, Coach #2 looked at the girls and said, “Are we going to win tomorrow?” The new girls said, “YEAH!” with all the enthusiasm in the world. The girls who had been driven down Humiliation Lane the six games prior said nothing.
There were six teams in that tournament, two of them were ours. Both teams won their first travel soccer game that weekend. One of the teams, won their first tournament.
And so it went. With two teams, we needed two coaches and so another was hired. The girls were split into two teams. The split brought a little drama to our little team and opened my eyes to something I had never heard of before - “parity.” I had no idea what it was, but I definitely have an opinion now.
Are you surprised?
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