So, I got a random email from friend yesterday saying that she liked the blog. “Very sweet,” I thought.
On my drive home from work, I started thinking about her and how I got to know her family. I actually met her oldest daughter first. She plays travel soccer for the age group one year ahead of MyGirl’s. I met her for the first time when she enrolled her oldest in the speed and agility class I had orchestrated during the winter a year or two ago.
In the fall of this year, her oldest daughter, a goalie, was playing for her middle school team. She got kicked in the head. I wasn’t there, but from what I have heard, it was a pretty serious blow. I can’t remember if she lost consciousness or not. But, the daughter ended up with a concussion.
Growing up, I always thought of a concussion as nothing really. Everyone I ever knew that had one was fine. They just didn’t “feel like themselves” for a few days. It seemed like such a trivial injury.
But, years in healthcare have taught me differently. In medical records, concussions are sometimes recorded as Mild TBI’s. TBI = Traumatic Brain Injury. That sounds worse, right? How about, closed head injury? How does that sound?? To me – much worse than “concussion.”
They are serious business. Serious. Business.
Seeking rehabilitation is crucial from the very beginning if a concussion is suspected. And sometimes, that is harder than you would think. If you doubt me, just ask my friend. After her daughter was diagnosed with a concussion, she followed up with a pediatric neurologist as directed by the ER doc. As I understand it, the neurologist did a few tests, but none that could actually measure improvement so that my friend would know if her daughter was getting better.
She followed the directions of the neurologist, but realized after 7-8 weeks post-accident that her daughter was not improving. Her daughter was still having headaches on a daily basis and was struggling in school. So, she sought a different kind of care and started looking for a pediatric neurologist that specialized in concussion management. She finally found one and now her daughter is on brain rest and has been for several weeks. Her daughter cannot go to school or even be in areas with lots of noise or with bright lights. Read: She can’t leave the house.
After she is released from brain rest, she will begin concussion therapy. She will have to do therapeutic exercises that will re-train her brain to perform as it did before the injury occurred.
Athletes that play contact sports, like soccer, are at the greatest risk of getting concussions. So, be aware of signs and symptoms.
If your child is diagnosed with a concussion, make sure that you see a physician that specializes in concussion management. (Look for a physician that provides ImPACT testing.)
Take the time off that is recommended. Sustaining a second brain injury before symptoms of the first brain injury has been known to cause severe, irreversible damage.
It’s better to sit out a game than a season. And it’s better to sit out a season than a lifetime.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Answer: They Play Soccer
Question: What happens to the little girls that tear the heads off Barbie dolls?
So, at the ripe old age of 11, MyGirl has successfully secured her first red card. And guess what, they’re not easy to get. Leave it to her to be an overachiever.
I swear, I couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t so upset with the red card. She was much more upset that she had to sit out a game in a tournament. It was kind of…sad.
It was the second game of the tournament. We were playing a team from Arkansas. (Yeah, I know…) They were a physical team, no big deal, we can handle that. They had two Amazon Girls that were about 5 foot 8 (no exaggeration). These girls were supposed to be 11 or 12 years old, but I swear I saw one of them driving out of the parking lot when we left. (Okay, a little exaggeration there.) In the first half, one of the Amazon Girls from Arkansas roughs up our goalie on a corner kick and they score. They scored again in the next 2 minutes. And just like that, our team is down 0-2.
A few minutes later, StrikerGirl gets a warning from the ref about pushing. And a few minutes after that, MyGirl gets a yellow card for it. After the game I found out that the ref said, “Didn’t I just tell you not to push like that?” MyGirl said, “No. You told her.” Yellow Card. At this point, she tops the leader board with yellow cards after being tied with StrikerGirl for almost a whole season.
After half-time, they score again. GAG! With about 3 minutes to go in the game, MyGirl pushes a girl. It started as both girls leaning on each other neutrally to gain control of the ball, but after a few steps, you could see there was nothing neutral about it. Ref blows the whistle and MyGirl sweeps the girls legs, the girl falls backwards and lands on the soccer ball. Red Card. She says she didn’t hear the whistle blow. (Umm, yeah, I believe her.) Luckily, the girl she “tripped” rolled around on the ground for about 2 minutes so the team only had to play a man down for a minute.
MyGirl is a sweet girl. She really is. When I tell people that she is a menace on the soccer field, they don’t believe me. She plays basketball for her school this year and she’s the same way on the basketball court. She pushed a girl down this year and they weren’t even close to the ball when it happened. A teacher from her school told me last week that she is impressed with how tough she is on the court.
The teacher added: “Sometimes it looks like she might even push those girls on purpose.”
Me: “Umm, yeah, I think she does.”
Teacher: “No!! She would never do that! Every time we see her, we call her ‘Sunshine’!”
Me (thinking): “Well, I bet none of her opponents at any sport (except bowling) would call her that.”
So, just know, she’s not mean – all the time. She is a nice girl. (That’s what I keep telling myself.)
Here’s what else I have found out…Red cards get mixed reviews. Some people were giving her high fives. Some people look at her like she’s a monster, then they find their children and walk away. (Exaggeration – kind of.)
Clarification here –We didn’t condone the behavior. We talked to her about stopping after the whistle blows and about hurting other people – on purpose. And then we bought her some red flare for her bag to remember her first one. Also in general, the people that give her high fives are my kind of people.
(SIDEBAR: StrikerGirl and MyGirl both play on the same basketball team. And while MyGirl may lead in Yellows and Reds in soccer – I should point out that StrikerGirl leads in Technical Fouls.)
So, at the ripe old age of 11, MyGirl has successfully secured her first red card. And guess what, they’re not easy to get. Leave it to her to be an overachiever.
I swear, I couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t so upset with the red card. She was much more upset that she had to sit out a game in a tournament. It was kind of…sad.
It was the second game of the tournament. We were playing a team from Arkansas. (Yeah, I know…) They were a physical team, no big deal, we can handle that. They had two Amazon Girls that were about 5 foot 8 (no exaggeration). These girls were supposed to be 11 or 12 years old, but I swear I saw one of them driving out of the parking lot when we left. (Okay, a little exaggeration there.) In the first half, one of the Amazon Girls from Arkansas roughs up our goalie on a corner kick and they score. They scored again in the next 2 minutes. And just like that, our team is down 0-2.
A few minutes later, StrikerGirl gets a warning from the ref about pushing. And a few minutes after that, MyGirl gets a yellow card for it. After the game I found out that the ref said, “Didn’t I just tell you not to push like that?” MyGirl said, “No. You told her.” Yellow Card. At this point, she tops the leader board with yellow cards after being tied with StrikerGirl for almost a whole season.
After half-time, they score again. GAG! With about 3 minutes to go in the game, MyGirl pushes a girl. It started as both girls leaning on each other neutrally to gain control of the ball, but after a few steps, you could see there was nothing neutral about it. Ref blows the whistle and MyGirl sweeps the girls legs, the girl falls backwards and lands on the soccer ball. Red Card. She says she didn’t hear the whistle blow. (Umm, yeah, I believe her.) Luckily, the girl she “tripped” rolled around on the ground for about 2 minutes so the team only had to play a man down for a minute.
MyGirl is a sweet girl. She really is. When I tell people that she is a menace on the soccer field, they don’t believe me. She plays basketball for her school this year and she’s the same way on the basketball court. She pushed a girl down this year and they weren’t even close to the ball when it happened. A teacher from her school told me last week that she is impressed with how tough she is on the court.
The teacher added: “Sometimes it looks like she might even push those girls on purpose.”
Me: “Umm, yeah, I think she does.”
Teacher: “No!! She would never do that! Every time we see her, we call her ‘Sunshine’!”
Me (thinking): “Well, I bet none of her opponents at any sport (except bowling) would call her that.”
So, just know, she’s not mean – all the time. She is a nice girl. (That’s what I keep telling myself.)
Here’s what else I have found out…Red cards get mixed reviews. Some people were giving her high fives. Some people look at her like she’s a monster, then they find their children and walk away. (Exaggeration – kind of.)
Clarification here –We didn’t condone the behavior. We talked to her about stopping after the whistle blows and about hurting other people – on purpose. And then we bought her some red flare for her bag to remember her first one. Also in general, the people that give her high fives are my kind of people.
(SIDEBAR: StrikerGirl and MyGirl both play on the same basketball team. And while MyGirl may lead in Yellows and Reds in soccer – I should point out that StrikerGirl leads in Technical Fouls.)
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
My Team
I know I said my next post would be about the game in the hotel. I had good intentions. A recent, unexpected trip to the ER, which landed me an overnight stay and minor surgery has gotten in the way of my intentions.
I know I have written about how the girls on the team are sort of like sisters. During my two-week recovery, I will tell you that now more than ever, I know that there is a team behind the team - and I'm happy to be part of it.
I have trouble accepting help from time to time. I always feel like I can manage "it." As I was getting discharged from the hospital, I was making my list of what I needed before I went home. I wanted to be dropped off at the house, put in bed, and then I wanted Hubs to go to the grocery to fill my prescriptions and get me some soup. But I didn't want canned soup, I wanted chicken and rice soup from a restaurant. The last round of pain meds made sequencing events difficult and eventually I just gave up and decided that going home and going to bed was all I needed to worry about.
About that time one of the soccer moms called and said, "I heard you were in the hospital, is everything okay?" I really don't remember much of the conversation as I was heavily medicated, but she offered to bring me chicken and rice soup the next day. Seriously, was she reading my mind? I don't know what made me say "yes," but I did - like immediately. After hanging up, I thought, "Did I just accept charity?" And then I dosed off.
The next day, I slept all day long and I was starving. Just about that time, she showed up with the soup, cheesy bread and fruit pizza. (I love her fruit pizza and she knows this.) I ate two pieces of fruit pizza and went back to bed. Man, that was good. I had the soup for breakfast the next day.
The soccer moms on the team fed my family for the entire week. Do you understand what that means? I didn't have to worry about anything regarding food. There was plenty every night and the leftovers fed us the next day. It also meant we didn't have to go to the grocery store, which was AWESOME because I couldn't even sit up for more than 30 minutes at time.
And it wasn't just that...they sent me text messages to see if I needed anything, sent me messages on Facebook, called me and checked on me to make sure I didn't need anything at all. They made sure MyGirl got to practice and got home. MPIC even offered to the most hated of all household chores - laundry.
It sure made my life easier and was greatly appreciated.
The truth is, I spend a lot of hours with these families. For the most part, I can tell you the name of every member of the family (pets included), where they work and where the kids go to school.We even travel together at least twice a year (more than I do with my actual relatives).
They are my extended family. They are MY team. Now more than ever, I know that these people will be my defense when my offense isn't looking so good. They will make my punt look like a perfect pass. (I'm thinking about the recent KY hotel block of rooms - thanks for rolling with the punches on that one.)
Thanks for letting me be part of the team.
I know I have written about how the girls on the team are sort of like sisters. During my two-week recovery, I will tell you that now more than ever, I know that there is a team behind the team - and I'm happy to be part of it.
I have trouble accepting help from time to time. I always feel like I can manage "it." As I was getting discharged from the hospital, I was making my list of what I needed before I went home. I wanted to be dropped off at the house, put in bed, and then I wanted Hubs to go to the grocery to fill my prescriptions and get me some soup. But I didn't want canned soup, I wanted chicken and rice soup from a restaurant. The last round of pain meds made sequencing events difficult and eventually I just gave up and decided that going home and going to bed was all I needed to worry about.
About that time one of the soccer moms called and said, "I heard you were in the hospital, is everything okay?" I really don't remember much of the conversation as I was heavily medicated, but she offered to bring me chicken and rice soup the next day. Seriously, was she reading my mind? I don't know what made me say "yes," but I did - like immediately. After hanging up, I thought, "Did I just accept charity?" And then I dosed off.
The next day, I slept all day long and I was starving. Just about that time, she showed up with the soup, cheesy bread and fruit pizza. (I love her fruit pizza and she knows this.) I ate two pieces of fruit pizza and went back to bed. Man, that was good. I had the soup for breakfast the next day.
The soccer moms on the team fed my family for the entire week. Do you understand what that means? I didn't have to worry about anything regarding food. There was plenty every night and the leftovers fed us the next day. It also meant we didn't have to go to the grocery store, which was AWESOME because I couldn't even sit up for more than 30 minutes at time.
And it wasn't just that...they sent me text messages to see if I needed anything, sent me messages on Facebook, called me and checked on me to make sure I didn't need anything at all. They made sure MyGirl got to practice and got home. MPIC even offered to the most hated of all household chores - laundry.
It sure made my life easier and was greatly appreciated.
The truth is, I spend a lot of hours with these families. For the most part, I can tell you the name of every member of the family (pets included), where they work and where the kids go to school.We even travel together at least twice a year (more than I do with my actual relatives).
They are my extended family. They are MY team. Now more than ever, I know that these people will be my defense when my offense isn't looking so good. They will make my punt look like a perfect pass. (I'm thinking about the recent KY hotel block of rooms - thanks for rolling with the punches on that one.)
Thanks for letting me be part of the team.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Talk to the Hand
Soccer in Indianapolis. It went something like this:
When we woke up on Saturday morning, the original forecast of 60 degree weather with a 30 percent chance of rain had been changed to 60 percent chance of rain with 50 degree weather. It seemed a lot colder than that. Of course, it started to sprinkle on the way to the fields and it started to rain at kickoff. It wasn't a heavy rain, just enough to be annoying when your standing in it.
Several of our parents have pop-up tents that keep us shaded on hot days and dry when it rains. But since we had driven so far with luggage and soccer gear, not everyone brought their tents. The few that had them set them up and all the parents huddled under them while the girls warmed up between fields. Before the game was about to start, our manager stood in front of us and said, "Which one of these are we going to take over to the girls?" We all sort of looked at our feet. The parents fit perfectly under those tents and the girls were going to get wet anyway.... Said manager looked a little shocked. . She asked again, "Really??? We're not going give a tent to the girls?" Eventually - the girls had a tent.
Game #1 - Luck-a-Duck
The rain sort of slowed the girls down. The wet ball was making what would have normally been a solid pass a little squirrely. The girls were over-running the ball and playing a little tight. At half-time, we were down, 0-1. About a quarter of the way in, MyGirl took a punt from the goalie out of the air, got a bad touch and it soared right back toward the goalie. The goalie bobbled it; it slipped between her legs and into the goal. Tie Game. (Luck-a-Duck). A bit later, we got another goal and for the rest of the game we "played to the flags." Win.
Game #2 - Sideways Rain
Between the games, the rain cleared, but it got colder. I had taken MyGirl to a Laundromat and threw all of her wet stuff in the dryer so that she wouldn't be wet AND cold during the second game. The Laundromat had a sign on the door that said, "You can NOT wear hoods on your head inside the Laundromat." I felt pretty safe (Sarcasm!). But at least when I left there, she was dry. We made it back to the fields and during warm-ups it started to rain. First a sprinkle, then a steady, cold pour. At kick off, the wind started and the girls were playing in sideways rain. The ball was getting held up in puddles and muddy spots on the field. That's not the reason we lost - the field conditions were the same for both teams, but it was definitely misery. The girls played tough and we had a few unlucky breaks. We went back to the hotel; MyGirl took a shower and crashed. I went to a safer, cleaner Laundromat to get everything ready for Sunday.
Game #3 - Welcome to Thugville
So we played a team from South Central Indiana on Sunday morning. I take back everything I said about our girls being rough. These girls were ROUGH. They were...thugs. (They probably wear their hoods up in Laundromats.) About two minutes into the game one of their players shoved one of ours with two hands as a defensive move. I'll be the first to admit that MyGirl has given a hard shoulder or two after a play, but that is ridiculous. The ref did call a foul on her. But then he lets the girls line up five feet away and as soon as All-StarGirl steps to kick the ball, they charge her. (They are supposed to be 10-feet away and they have to stay in place until she kicks the ball.) Our sideline went crazy. It went down hill from there. The ref-fing got worse. During the second half, StrikerGirl collides with one of their players. The girl gets up and pushes StrikerGirl. Without hesitation, StrikerGirl pushes her back. The ref does NOTHING. No fouls, no warnings, no cards.
The funniest part of the game though was that Coach #3 and their coach "had words." Now, Coach #3 is sarcastic and his verbal skills leave nothing to be desired. I heard the coach of the thugs say, "You STARTED it!" like a kid in grade school. Then I saw them exchange a few words and then Coach #3 extended his arm, put his hand up and said, "Talk to the hand." All of the girls on the bench started cracking up. I'm laughing right now thinking about it. But apparently that ended it, so it must have been appropriate.
Thank goodness the girls from Thugville didn't win that game (or any game of the weekend); they may have lit a trash can on fire to celebrate or looted the concession stand. Coach #3 could have gotten shanked. It's a good thing he didn't use any three-syllable words to quiet that guy down.
The girls ended up third place in the tournament. Not bad. I'll post again later to give everyone a run-down on the hotel game. It was a fun one!
When we woke up on Saturday morning, the original forecast of 60 degree weather with a 30 percent chance of rain had been changed to 60 percent chance of rain with 50 degree weather. It seemed a lot colder than that. Of course, it started to sprinkle on the way to the fields and it started to rain at kickoff. It wasn't a heavy rain, just enough to be annoying when your standing in it.
Several of our parents have pop-up tents that keep us shaded on hot days and dry when it rains. But since we had driven so far with luggage and soccer gear, not everyone brought their tents. The few that had them set them up and all the parents huddled under them while the girls warmed up between fields. Before the game was about to start, our manager stood in front of us and said, "Which one of these are we going to take over to the girls?" We all sort of looked at our feet. The parents fit perfectly under those tents and the girls were going to get wet anyway.... Said manager looked a little shocked. . She asked again, "Really??? We're not going give a tent to the girls?" Eventually - the girls had a tent.
Game #1 - Luck-a-Duck
The rain sort of slowed the girls down. The wet ball was making what would have normally been a solid pass a little squirrely. The girls were over-running the ball and playing a little tight. At half-time, we were down, 0-1. About a quarter of the way in, MyGirl took a punt from the goalie out of the air, got a bad touch and it soared right back toward the goalie. The goalie bobbled it; it slipped between her legs and into the goal. Tie Game. (Luck-a-Duck). A bit later, we got another goal and for the rest of the game we "played to the flags." Win.
Game #2 - Sideways Rain
Between the games, the rain cleared, but it got colder. I had taken MyGirl to a Laundromat and threw all of her wet stuff in the dryer so that she wouldn't be wet AND cold during the second game. The Laundromat had a sign on the door that said, "You can NOT wear hoods on your head inside the Laundromat." I felt pretty safe (Sarcasm!). But at least when I left there, she was dry. We made it back to the fields and during warm-ups it started to rain. First a sprinkle, then a steady, cold pour. At kick off, the wind started and the girls were playing in sideways rain. The ball was getting held up in puddles and muddy spots on the field. That's not the reason we lost - the field conditions were the same for both teams, but it was definitely misery. The girls played tough and we had a few unlucky breaks. We went back to the hotel; MyGirl took a shower and crashed. I went to a safer, cleaner Laundromat to get everything ready for Sunday.
Game #3 - Welcome to Thugville
So we played a team from South Central Indiana on Sunday morning. I take back everything I said about our girls being rough. These girls were ROUGH. They were...thugs. (They probably wear their hoods up in Laundromats.) About two minutes into the game one of their players shoved one of ours with two hands as a defensive move. I'll be the first to admit that MyGirl has given a hard shoulder or two after a play, but that is ridiculous. The ref did call a foul on her. But then he lets the girls line up five feet away and as soon as All-StarGirl steps to kick the ball, they charge her. (They are supposed to be 10-feet away and they have to stay in place until she kicks the ball.) Our sideline went crazy. It went down hill from there. The ref-fing got worse. During the second half, StrikerGirl collides with one of their players. The girl gets up and pushes StrikerGirl. Without hesitation, StrikerGirl pushes her back. The ref does NOTHING. No fouls, no warnings, no cards.
The funniest part of the game though was that Coach #3 and their coach "had words." Now, Coach #3 is sarcastic and his verbal skills leave nothing to be desired. I heard the coach of the thugs say, "You STARTED it!" like a kid in grade school. Then I saw them exchange a few words and then Coach #3 extended his arm, put his hand up and said, "Talk to the hand." All of the girls on the bench started cracking up. I'm laughing right now thinking about it. But apparently that ended it, so it must have been appropriate.
Thank goodness the girls from Thugville didn't win that game (or any game of the weekend); they may have lit a trash can on fire to celebrate or looted the concession stand. Coach #3 could have gotten shanked. It's a good thing he didn't use any three-syllable words to quiet that guy down.
The girls ended up third place in the tournament. Not bad. I'll post again later to give everyone a run-down on the hotel game. It was a fun one!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Finalist-ly!!!
Oh My Goodness! They did it. They brought home the hardware! And not just any hardware - the hardware with the with the Blue Ribbon!
MyGirl and her team are CHAMPIONS! After the last year of entering four tournaments and bringing home FOUR Finalist medals - they finally made it over the hump and walked to the car with a CHAMPION Medal around their necks.
Not for nuthin' - those four finalist medals were fought for. They were hard to get. Many teams went home early on Sundays while MyGirl's team (and parents and siblings) hung out for the Championship match just to lose. I'll say this - the WORST loss of any tournament seems to be the Championship match because they are SO close to walking away feeling like they are the best - even if they did their best.
The great thing about this tournament is that MyGirl learned a little something too. During yesterday's semi-finals MyGirl got yelled at by Coach #3 and she did something that she rarely does... she yelled back at him. EEEK! I had no idea what she said but I know MyGirl. I KNOW it was out of frustration. In general, she doesn't talk back and she NEVER talks back to the coach. Well, Coach #3 might have also known that, but I could tell (and so could she), he was not happy with her response.
YANK! Out of the game she went - to take a well-deserved time out, just after a brief and what-I-found-out-later-to-be stern "lesson" from the coach. When she went back in, she looked to be...a bit calmer. At half-time, the score was 0-0.
The second half, it looked like MyGirl's team had been replaced by a whole new (better) team and they had fire in their eyes. (I have no idea what was said at the half-time talk, but I'm hoping Coach #3 "vaulted it" so he can pull it out again!)
Less than two minutes in, MyGirl rocketed a shot from inside the 18 and they were up 1-0. She was happy. I was happy. She ran back to her position, saw me cheering, pointed at me and said, "That was for you!"
THAT is why my kid is so cool! Here's another reason (I think anyway):
Over the course of four games this weekend, we had the same center ref three times. (Refs definitely deserve their own post and I promise, I'll get to it one day.) This ref, had some minimal left-side paralysis. His left hand was contracted and he held his arm close to his body. At times you could see him supporting his left upper extremity with his right.
Coach #3 told me after we had won and before the medal ceremony, MyGirl had a conversation with that ref that went something like this:
MyGirl: 'I have a question.'
Ref: 'Okay, ask.'
MyGirl: 'How come when you point with your left hand, you hold your hand like this?'
I know that some parents would be completely embarrassed right now, but I'm not. I'm proud.
Ref explained that he had cerebral palsy and that he has some minimal impairments on his left side. He uses ref-ing games as his exercise.
I have told MyGirl and TheBoy their whole lives, when you see someone that's different, don't stare, just ask 'em. And now I know that all the times that I said it. She listened.
And I'm so grateful that she had the courage to ask. And I'm even more happy that she saw someone that was different than her and she didn't judge them a bit.
She asked me this morning if there was a cure for that CP. Sadly, there is not.
No matter how many goals MyGirl gets (or doesn't get) I will be proud of her for moments like that. She is a lovely girl and no matter how many Championship medals the girl brings home, she will always be My Girl. (Just FYI - "lovely" is not ALWAYS the adjective I would use to describe her. Especially not in these "tween" years. But as a whole, she is lovely.)
That said, I agree with her. She looks better in blue than she does in red. It brings out the color of her eyes.
Thanks for the good luck wishes. We need them again this weekend when we travel to six hours north for the girls to play some tough teams. Wish us GOOD luck!
MyGirl and her team are CHAMPIONS! After the last year of entering four tournaments and bringing home FOUR Finalist medals - they finally made it over the hump and walked to the car with a CHAMPION Medal around their necks.
Not for nuthin' - those four finalist medals were fought for. They were hard to get. Many teams went home early on Sundays while MyGirl's team (and parents and siblings) hung out for the Championship match just to lose. I'll say this - the WORST loss of any tournament seems to be the Championship match because they are SO close to walking away feeling like they are the best - even if they did their best.
The great thing about this tournament is that MyGirl learned a little something too. During yesterday's semi-finals MyGirl got yelled at by Coach #3 and she did something that she rarely does... she yelled back at him. EEEK! I had no idea what she said but I know MyGirl. I KNOW it was out of frustration. In general, she doesn't talk back and she NEVER talks back to the coach. Well, Coach #3 might have also known that, but I could tell (and so could she), he was not happy with her response.
YANK! Out of the game she went - to take a well-deserved time out, just after a brief and what-I-found-out-later-to-be stern "lesson" from the coach. When she went back in, she looked to be...a bit calmer. At half-time, the score was 0-0.
The second half, it looked like MyGirl's team had been replaced by a whole new (better) team and they had fire in their eyes. (I have no idea what was said at the half-time talk, but I'm hoping Coach #3 "vaulted it" so he can pull it out again!)
Less than two minutes in, MyGirl rocketed a shot from inside the 18 and they were up 1-0. She was happy. I was happy. She ran back to her position, saw me cheering, pointed at me and said, "That was for you!"
THAT is why my kid is so cool! Here's another reason (I think anyway):
Over the course of four games this weekend, we had the same center ref three times. (Refs definitely deserve their own post and I promise, I'll get to it one day.) This ref, had some minimal left-side paralysis. His left hand was contracted and he held his arm close to his body. At times you could see him supporting his left upper extremity with his right.
Coach #3 told me after we had won and before the medal ceremony, MyGirl had a conversation with that ref that went something like this:
MyGirl: 'I have a question.'
Ref: 'Okay, ask.'
MyGirl: 'How come when you point with your left hand, you hold your hand like this?'
I know that some parents would be completely embarrassed right now, but I'm not. I'm proud.
Ref explained that he had cerebral palsy and that he has some minimal impairments on his left side. He uses ref-ing games as his exercise.
I have told MyGirl and TheBoy their whole lives, when you see someone that's different, don't stare, just ask 'em. And now I know that all the times that I said it. She listened.
And I'm so grateful that she had the courage to ask. And I'm even more happy that she saw someone that was different than her and she didn't judge them a bit.
She asked me this morning if there was a cure for that CP. Sadly, there is not.
No matter how many goals MyGirl gets (or doesn't get) I will be proud of her for moments like that. She is a lovely girl and no matter how many Championship medals the girl brings home, she will always be My Girl. (Just FYI - "lovely" is not ALWAYS the adjective I would use to describe her. Especially not in these "tween" years. But as a whole, she is lovely.)
That said, I agree with her. She looks better in blue than she does in red. It brings out the color of her eyes.
Thanks for the good luck wishes. We need them again this weekend when we travel to six hours north for the girls to play some tough teams. Wish us GOOD luck!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Big Girls Don't Cry
But soccer players do. There is no crying in baseball, but in girls’ soccer – there is.
Yesterday was my birthday and to celebrate we headed to the soccer fields. I’ll be honest; I’ve had worse things to do on my birthday.
We live in a small soccer community and the more a team progresses the smaller it gets. So inevitably, MyGirl’s team plays a lot of the same teams over and over again – which in turn means, the girls on MyGirl’s team know the players on the other team.
What’s funny is how much they know about their opponents. They know their numbers, their names and even their favorite ball moves. They know some of them so well they have even come up with nicknames for some of them.
Sometimes the nicknames are mean – so mean that MyGirl has been instructed to only use those nicknames in the car with the doors closed and the windows rolled up. (Most of the time – they are funny and usually a little true… I probably should have said that in the car.)
Anyway, one of the teams they played yesterday has a girl on it that cries EVERY TIME we play them. It’s maddening. The girl falls down (maybe with some help from one of our players, maybe not), stays on the ground, sobs for what seems like 10 minutes and then brushes herself off and continues to play. The whole time, her teams’ parents are commenting on the foul that should be called.
Well yesterday, her own teammate took her out. And amazingly – no comments from the parents on the roughness of play – interesting, isnt’ it? She cried for a while and end up staying in the game. (This is when you ask yourself, "How hurt was she really?")
When we got in the car, I asked MyGirl what she thought about that. She said that when it happened she couldn’t help herself and said aloud (in her most sarcastic voice), “Well, THAT was bound to happen.”
That said, MyGirl shed a few tears yesterday too. She was put in a position that she rarely plays and her coach was yelling at her – not in a harsh way, but definitely on her case. Her tears were out of frustration and I saw it coming. But she sucked it up and did the best she could. Usually, after tears of frustration comes what I refer to as “crazy eyes.” She gets this look on her face like she is going to hurt someone. It’s bad. Well – she didn’t get “crazy eyes” yesterday, which to me means mental progress.
She did, however, get the prettiest goal I have seen her get in awhile, although she won’t take (and doesn’t deserve) all the credit. All-StarGirl had a beautiful penalty kick, which landed right on MyGirl’s head and from there – it darted past the goalie's hands into the goal. (Totally YouTube Worthy!)
MyGirl said, “All-StarGirl should get the goal because all I did was close my eyes and turn my head toward the goal.”
Well that maybe true, but all I can say is, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!”
Anyway - We have our first tournament of the season next weekend. And I have never seen more heartbreaking tears than at a girls soccer tournament. This is what the girls practice for. And no matter how well they play, a hard-earned loss in a tournament hurts more than most injuries suffered on the field.
So, wish good luck to MyGirl and her team this weekend because all true soccer moms (new or seasoned) know one thing…. GOOD luck is better than NO luck or BAD luck!
I personally, would like to see some tears of joy this weekend!
Yesterday was my birthday and to celebrate we headed to the soccer fields. I’ll be honest; I’ve had worse things to do on my birthday.
We live in a small soccer community and the more a team progresses the smaller it gets. So inevitably, MyGirl’s team plays a lot of the same teams over and over again – which in turn means, the girls on MyGirl’s team know the players on the other team.
What’s funny is how much they know about their opponents. They know their numbers, their names and even their favorite ball moves. They know some of them so well they have even come up with nicknames for some of them.
Sometimes the nicknames are mean – so mean that MyGirl has been instructed to only use those nicknames in the car with the doors closed and the windows rolled up. (Most of the time – they are funny and usually a little true… I probably should have said that in the car.)
Anyway, one of the teams they played yesterday has a girl on it that cries EVERY TIME we play them. It’s maddening. The girl falls down (maybe with some help from one of our players, maybe not), stays on the ground, sobs for what seems like 10 minutes and then brushes herself off and continues to play. The whole time, her teams’ parents are commenting on the foul that should be called.
Well yesterday, her own teammate took her out. And amazingly – no comments from the parents on the roughness of play – interesting, isnt’ it? She cried for a while and end up staying in the game. (This is when you ask yourself, "How hurt was she really?")
When we got in the car, I asked MyGirl what she thought about that. She said that when it happened she couldn’t help herself and said aloud (in her most sarcastic voice), “Well, THAT was bound to happen.”
That said, MyGirl shed a few tears yesterday too. She was put in a position that she rarely plays and her coach was yelling at her – not in a harsh way, but definitely on her case. Her tears were out of frustration and I saw it coming. But she sucked it up and did the best she could. Usually, after tears of frustration comes what I refer to as “crazy eyes.” She gets this look on her face like she is going to hurt someone. It’s bad. Well – she didn’t get “crazy eyes” yesterday, which to me means mental progress.
She did, however, get the prettiest goal I have seen her get in awhile, although she won’t take (and doesn’t deserve) all the credit. All-StarGirl had a beautiful penalty kick, which landed right on MyGirl’s head and from there – it darted past the goalie's hands into the goal. (Totally YouTube Worthy!)
MyGirl said, “All-StarGirl should get the goal because all I did was close my eyes and turn my head toward the goal.”
Well that maybe true, but all I can say is, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!”
Anyway - We have our first tournament of the season next weekend. And I have never seen more heartbreaking tears than at a girls soccer tournament. This is what the girls practice for. And no matter how well they play, a hard-earned loss in a tournament hurts more than most injuries suffered on the field.
So, wish good luck to MyGirl and her team this weekend because all true soccer moms (new or seasoned) know one thing…. GOOD luck is better than NO luck or BAD luck!
I personally, would like to see some tears of joy this weekend!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Getting Gear'd Up...
Soccer season has officially begun (about six weeks ago actually!) and it’s high time I get the car stocked for the season. Better late than never, I guess. I am in no way a soccer veteran but there are some things I have learned that I can’t travel without.
MyGirl’s first outdoor soccer tournament was a muddy mess. They played their first game in the rain on Friday night. The fields were still in decent condition when we left that evening, but when we returned on Saturday around noon, I saw tow trucks pulling mini vans from the what-used-to-be-a-grassy parking lot. I felt a little panicked until Hubs offered to drop us off with "all of the stuff" and he would park at the strip mall across the street.
I fumbled with a cooler, two camping chairs, a bag full of snacks, my purse and my to-go cup of coffee. Can you say AMATEUR?
So here’s the deal… if it’s raining – and I can almost guarantee that you will play in the rain at least once this year… Don’t bring your cooler, your snacks or your purse… Bring your ponchos, galoshes and an umbrella. Will you look like a total dork on the sidelines? Yes, but you will be dry. (The only person that I have seen rock out the rain outfit is MPIC – but that girlie can glam up any look – just sayin’.)
The girls played in a sloggy bog of mud that was at least a half-cleat high that weekend and it was a little cold. One of the girls on the team was wearing cotton-lined, “swishy” pants under her uniform shorts to keep warm. Not a bad idea – until those pants got so wet and muddy that she was stepping on them while she was running and it was really slowing her down. Her parents weren’t there and the girl was staying with SM3.
We knew we had to do something. So at half time, we ran over to the sidelines, the girls circled around us so that no one could see what we were doing. I held an old towel around the girl and SM3 pulled off her shorts and pants (over her shin guards, socks and cleats) and then slipped her shorts back on her – all the while the girls were attentively listening to Coach #2’s half-time drumming.
Whew! Lesson learned. Girls wear leggings that layer under their shin guards.
So here are a few things I try to keep in my car during soccer season:
- Deluxe camping chair – And when I say deluxe, I mean lightweight and easy to carry. You will appreciate it when you have secured the last parking spot in the lot and you have to do a 3K just to get to your field
- Umbrella – I use mine to provide shade as well. (Me + The Sun = Not Friends)
- Ponchos – one for everybody in the family
- Old towels – especially when it rains (or for when your youngest child finds a sinkhole – right, SM3?)
- Wet wipes - You will need them – Pinky Swear.
- Blanket or two – For when it’s cold or to let people sit on it.
- A couple of extra bottles of water
- Sunscreen
- A box of SCENTED Fabric Softener Sheets – to stuff in cleats or backpack when the smell is just too much.
IF I was really good, and I’m not…. I would also put an old pair of shin guards, an extra ball and some socks in there…
Before games, I always try to make sure MyGirl has packed the following in her backpack:
- Both jersey tops – I’ll repeat (as does the manager over and over and over)… she needs BOTH jersey tops at every game. Sometimes, she is assigned to wear white, but when she shows up, she has to wear blue. It's just part of life. Just pack'em both.
- Mouthguard…. See earlier post.
- Inhaler (exercise-induced asthma) - Nothing is worse than leaving it in the car when she needs it.
- Shin guards and cleats (DUH!)
- Extra socks – especially if she has more than one game.
- Extra clean shirt – in case we go somewhere after the game
- Crocs, Slides or other slip on shoes (MyGirl normally wears them to the fields and changes into her cleats in the car.)
- Plastic bag – to put wet cleats/clothes in
- Water bottle (preferably filled with water)
- Gear for the colder days - “Underarmour” shirt, gloves (with grippies) and an ear-band
Last year, I started letting her pack the bag and then I go through it to make sure she has everything.
If there is a new soccer mom out there reading this… I hope it helps. To all of my soccer friends, I know you already do all this stuff because I learned from all of you.
Monday, August 16, 2010
On the Road Again
The girls on MyGirl’s soccer team had a one-night road trip to play some Super Friendlies in southern Kentucky. For those of you who don’t know, Super Friendlies are sort of like a Jamboree. One club hosts several teams that play round robins against teams of their own caliber. It’s the first time MyGirl’s team has ever stayed over night to play Super Friendlies, but let me tell you – I LOVED it! Four games, much cheaper and no worrying about whether we made it out of our bracket.
The girls, as you can imagine, love staying in a hotel with all their friends. They walk the halls, hang out in each others rooms and generally have a good time being somewhere that’s not at home. Oh yeah – and they get to play soccer in between.
When the girls were U9’s (8 years old), gas prices rose to right around $5 a gallon. We were playing in a tournament that was about an hour-and-half drive. In general, we probably would have driven back and forth, but a few of us decided to stay overnight at hotel because it was going to cost the same as filling our cars with gas. The few of us actually turned into all of us. The girls had so much fun swimming in the indoor pool, getting in the sauna, jumping in the hot tub and then back in the pool again. Then we all headed over to a nearby pizza place and they couldn’t seat us all together for two hours…. That wasn’t going to work, so we headed to the restaurant right next door and they accommodated us on a patio. Kids at one table- Adults at another….Add in the fact that the place had a full bar and it FAB.
In the Fall of the following year, we were talking about the hotel we would be staying at for an upcoming tournament Coach #2 found out we had an indoor pool at our hotel and said the girls were only allowed to swim for an hour. When SoccerMomCubed (SM3) and I heard that, we thought he was kidding.
Me: “Are you serious? The girls love that,”
Coach #2: “Sorry, swimming tires you out and they need to be well-rested.”
SM3: “They need to have fun and bond with their teammates too.”
Coach #2: “Be happy I’m giving you an hour, some coaches don’t let their kids swim at all.”
Me (sarcastically): “Yeah, right! Who would do that?” (SIDEBAR: Coach #3 = NO swimming.)
Coach #2: “They’ll have to find a different way to have fun and bond.”
I looked at SM3 and we got to work on that different way. We created a scavenger hunt that sent the girls all over the hotel to find different clues that that we had placed in various places. The clues all rhymed and SM3 and I had a lot of fun doing it. We had a few cheap prizes for all the girls and SM3’s mom made each girl an embroidered chapstick holder for their bag.
And that’s how Game Night at the hotel was born. The games have gotten much more elaborate – and so have the prizes.
We have played Soccer Jeopardy: We had categories like “Foul or No Foul.” We had pictures of the girls on the field and they had to determine whether an actual foul was taking place.
We have played Futbol Feud: “100 soccer parents surveyed (by me and SM3), “Which piece of soccer equipment smells the worst?” (FYI - #1 Answer – Shin Guards.)
We have played Kicktionary: A soccer version of Pictionary.
And most recently this past weekend, “I Survived a Soccer Game Show”– loosely based on “I Survived a Japanese Game Show.” We had the girls running around with cups of popcorn on their feet. We had them heading soccer balls into buckets. We had them digging for golf tees in buckets of shaving cream, cold spaghetti and JELLO.
The girls laughed a lot. We laughed a lot.
A couple of years ago, one of the parents came up to me and SM3 and said, “Thanks for doing this…. They will always remember this part.” I sort of shrugged my shoulders and thought “Eh, Whatever.”
But Sunday morning at the continental breakfast while about half the girls were eating cold cereal and bananas, I asked them, “What was your favorite game we have done so far?”
One of them said she liked the Soccer Jeopardy. I said, “How’d we do in that tournament?” Another girl answered, “I don’t know – we won I think.”
In Futbol Feud – she gets a BIG RED X. We didn’t win. We didn’t place. We tied one, lost one and won one. It was an awful weekend…. at the fields. The hotel must have been okay. Just goes to prove that soccer is more than just soccer.
One day, SM3 and I are going to sit down and write a small book about these games we have created to sell to other soccer moms and we are going to make a small fortune. Or at least enough to pay for dinner.
The girls, as you can imagine, love staying in a hotel with all their friends. They walk the halls, hang out in each others rooms and generally have a good time being somewhere that’s not at home. Oh yeah – and they get to play soccer in between.
When the girls were U9’s (8 years old), gas prices rose to right around $5 a gallon. We were playing in a tournament that was about an hour-and-half drive. In general, we probably would have driven back and forth, but a few of us decided to stay overnight at hotel because it was going to cost the same as filling our cars with gas. The few of us actually turned into all of us. The girls had so much fun swimming in the indoor pool, getting in the sauna, jumping in the hot tub and then back in the pool again. Then we all headed over to a nearby pizza place and they couldn’t seat us all together for two hours…. That wasn’t going to work, so we headed to the restaurant right next door and they accommodated us on a patio. Kids at one table- Adults at another….Add in the fact that the place had a full bar and it FAB.
In the Fall of the following year, we were talking about the hotel we would be staying at for an upcoming tournament Coach #2 found out we had an indoor pool at our hotel and said the girls were only allowed to swim for an hour. When SoccerMomCubed (SM3) and I heard that, we thought he was kidding.
Me: “Are you serious? The girls love that,”
Coach #2: “Sorry, swimming tires you out and they need to be well-rested.”
SM3: “They need to have fun and bond with their teammates too.”
Coach #2: “Be happy I’m giving you an hour, some coaches don’t let their kids swim at all.”
Me (sarcastically): “Yeah, right! Who would do that?” (SIDEBAR: Coach #3 = NO swimming.)
Coach #2: “They’ll have to find a different way to have fun and bond.”
I looked at SM3 and we got to work on that different way. We created a scavenger hunt that sent the girls all over the hotel to find different clues that that we had placed in various places. The clues all rhymed and SM3 and I had a lot of fun doing it. We had a few cheap prizes for all the girls and SM3’s mom made each girl an embroidered chapstick holder for their bag.
And that’s how Game Night at the hotel was born. The games have gotten much more elaborate – and so have the prizes.
We have played Soccer Jeopardy: We had categories like “Foul or No Foul.” We had pictures of the girls on the field and they had to determine whether an actual foul was taking place.
We have played Futbol Feud: “100 soccer parents surveyed (by me and SM3), “Which piece of soccer equipment smells the worst?” (FYI - #1 Answer – Shin Guards.)
We have played Kicktionary: A soccer version of Pictionary.
And most recently this past weekend, “I Survived a Soccer Game Show”– loosely based on “I Survived a Japanese Game Show.” We had the girls running around with cups of popcorn on their feet. We had them heading soccer balls into buckets. We had them digging for golf tees in buckets of shaving cream, cold spaghetti and JELLO.
The girls laughed a lot. We laughed a lot.
A couple of years ago, one of the parents came up to me and SM3 and said, “Thanks for doing this…. They will always remember this part.” I sort of shrugged my shoulders and thought “Eh, Whatever.”
But Sunday morning at the continental breakfast while about half the girls were eating cold cereal and bananas, I asked them, “What was your favorite game we have done so far?”
One of them said she liked the Soccer Jeopardy. I said, “How’d we do in that tournament?” Another girl answered, “I don’t know – we won I think.”
In Futbol Feud – she gets a BIG RED X. We didn’t win. We didn’t place. We tied one, lost one and won one. It was an awful weekend…. at the fields. The hotel must have been okay. Just goes to prove that soccer is more than just soccer.
One day, SM3 and I are going to sit down and write a small book about these games we have created to sell to other soccer moms and we are going to make a small fortune. Or at least enough to pay for dinner.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Sometimes.... Soccer is Dumb.
First let me say, I’ve been wanting to write a blog for a long time. But, I haven’t had the time and I haven’t really had a topic to write about. Well – I’ve had a lot of topics to write about, but not one that I could write about coherently without infuriating myself.
For all the good and fun that soccer is on the front end, there is definitely some serious behind-the-scenes BS that goes along with it.
Let’s start with try-outs. Try-outs are almost ridiculous. At MyGirl’s club, you can go to 2-3 try-outs and supposedly a non-partial evaluator scores you. Girls with like scores are put on the same team for an entire year. That SOUNDS fair, but is it?
What if you have a bad day at the fields and you leave there feeling like Charlie Brown with Lucy pulling the ball out from under you at every kick.
(Just a side bar – Lucy annoys me and if I was her mom, I’d beat her – to a pulp.)
What if you have a GREAT day and every pass or shot you take is perfect? It’s like your ruby red cleats have a spell on them cast by Mia Hamm’s fairy godmother.
Either way, there’s a chance you end up on a team you’re not supposed to be on.
What’s the solution? I don’t know.
This year at our club, one of the age groups was picked in the craziest way I have ever heard of in Travel Soccer. They had try-outs and didn’t have enough to roster two teams. So they had make-up try-outs. The first “x” number of people to get their paperwork handed in at the make-up try-outs, made the team.
Can you hear the manager explaining this method? “So, ummm, we’re not playing A/B or Parity soccer – we’re playing first-come, first-served soccer. Ummm, you’re daughter’s not the best soccer player we had come out, you just happened to show up first. So, congratulations on your timeliness!”
My biggest mistake this year was not having MyGirl try out for more than one club. I don’t know what the heck I was thinking. I feel 100 percent sure we would have stayed with our current club in then end, but it sure would be nice to feel like MyGirl had a choice. Next year, she will.
Here’s something that shocked me too. When I said to some of my friends that I wished I would have taken MyGirl somewhere else to try out – people gave me a loyalty speech.
For real?? Loyalty to whom/what? The team?? The club???? Is the team or club loyal to MyGirl?
I can answer that without question with a resounding “NO.”
Trust me, if MyGirl was at the bottom of the skills totem pole at a try out, they wouldn't keep her because of her loyalty to the team thus far. They would cut her and never look back. (Well, unless we got our paperwork turned in on time.... then I guess we'd have a small chance.)
Loyalty in travel soccer comes in 10 month spurts. You sign with a team and you are loyal to them for those 10 months. And then you move on – new year, new team. Sometimes - new uniform.
Over the past two years, MyGirl’s team has gained two players from other clubs and the team has welcomed the girls. For the most part, I don’t know why they left their old clubs. And I can guarantee you that MyGirl doesn’t care. She’s just glad to have them as teammates this year! And for the next 10 months, we will all be loyal to one another.
The bottom line is - you have to look out for your own kid, because no one else is going to. Every team in every age group at every club is different.
Okay – that’s it for now, but know this: There is plenty more behind-the-scenes soccer nonsense that goes on.
The new soccer season has begun and we go on our first road trip this Saturday. Woo Hoo!! Wish us luck!
BTW - MyGirl broke that tooth again. Another permanent crown next week. Or should I say, "temporarily permanent."
For all the good and fun that soccer is on the front end, there is definitely some serious behind-the-scenes BS that goes along with it.
Let’s start with try-outs. Try-outs are almost ridiculous. At MyGirl’s club, you can go to 2-3 try-outs and supposedly a non-partial evaluator scores you. Girls with like scores are put on the same team for an entire year. That SOUNDS fair, but is it?
What if you have a bad day at the fields and you leave there feeling like Charlie Brown with Lucy pulling the ball out from under you at every kick.
(Just a side bar – Lucy annoys me and if I was her mom, I’d beat her – to a pulp.)
What if you have a GREAT day and every pass or shot you take is perfect? It’s like your ruby red cleats have a spell on them cast by Mia Hamm’s fairy godmother.
Either way, there’s a chance you end up on a team you’re not supposed to be on.
What’s the solution? I don’t know.
This year at our club, one of the age groups was picked in the craziest way I have ever heard of in Travel Soccer. They had try-outs and didn’t have enough to roster two teams. So they had make-up try-outs. The first “x” number of people to get their paperwork handed in at the make-up try-outs, made the team.
Can you hear the manager explaining this method? “So, ummm, we’re not playing A/B or Parity soccer – we’re playing first-come, first-served soccer. Ummm, you’re daughter’s not the best soccer player we had come out, you just happened to show up first. So, congratulations on your timeliness!”
My biggest mistake this year was not having MyGirl try out for more than one club. I don’t know what the heck I was thinking. I feel 100 percent sure we would have stayed with our current club in then end, but it sure would be nice to feel like MyGirl had a choice. Next year, she will.
Here’s something that shocked me too. When I said to some of my friends that I wished I would have taken MyGirl somewhere else to try out – people gave me a loyalty speech.
For real?? Loyalty to whom/what? The team?? The club???? Is the team or club loyal to MyGirl?
I can answer that without question with a resounding “NO.”
Trust me, if MyGirl was at the bottom of the skills totem pole at a try out, they wouldn't keep her because of her loyalty to the team thus far. They would cut her and never look back. (Well, unless we got our paperwork turned in on time.... then I guess we'd have a small chance.)
Loyalty in travel soccer comes in 10 month spurts. You sign with a team and you are loyal to them for those 10 months. And then you move on – new year, new team. Sometimes - new uniform.
Over the past two years, MyGirl’s team has gained two players from other clubs and the team has welcomed the girls. For the most part, I don’t know why they left their old clubs. And I can guarantee you that MyGirl doesn’t care. She’s just glad to have them as teammates this year! And for the next 10 months, we will all be loyal to one another.
The bottom line is - you have to look out for your own kid, because no one else is going to. Every team in every age group at every club is different.
Okay – that’s it for now, but know this: There is plenty more behind-the-scenes soccer nonsense that goes on.
The new soccer season has begun and we go on our first road trip this Saturday. Woo Hoo!! Wish us luck!
BTW - MyGirl broke that tooth again. Another permanent crown next week. Or should I say, "temporarily permanent."
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Adding Insult to Injury
So, apparently, I’m a real peach.
In August 2008, my daughter broke her FRONT, bottom tooth playing soccer. It was a hot, sticky Sunday afternoon and it was misery. The root was exposed and she was in pain. Lucky for us the best endodontist in the world (email me for a referral!) came to the rescue (on a Sunday!)and repaired what could be repaired and sent us on our way. Because of the nitrous, she couldn’t play soccer the rest of the day, but we did make it back out to the fields to watch what remained of the “First (and only) Annual Coach #2 Jamboree.”
Since August 2008, we have had six temporary crowns and a root canal on that tooth. The bonding wouldn’t stick to what tooth we had left and we had to wait for more than a year to have the root canal b/c the root was not mature enough to have said procedure.
Finally, MyGirl got a permanent crown – well, a so-called permanent crown. I say that only because in MyGirl’s case, it was NOT permanent. She broke this $1400 tooth playing ping pong on New Years Eve.
I talked to the cosmetic dentist that wants to replace her old, broken crown with another “permanent” porcelain crown. I talked to friend’s dad, who was a dentist, he recommended acrylic temporary crown. I talked to another cosmetic dentist who gave completely different advice. (UGGH!)
Hubs took MyGirl to her pediatric dentist (with specific directions to get a recommendation about what to do with the tooth/crown). This dentist would not give an opinion either way. Hubs decided to give me a call after already making a follow-up appointment for sealants and while standing in the lobby.
Frustrated and on the verge of breakdown, I said, “Can I please just talk to the dentist?”
I mean seriously – it’s her FRONT TOOTH.
Hubs: “ I’m already in the lobby.”
Me: “Okay – then let me talk to the receptionist.”
Receptionist and I have a quick conversation about which dentist should call me back and when he would call me back.
Receptionist lady hands my husband the phone back. She must have thought I hung up, b/c while handing husband the phone, she says sarcastically, “Boy - She’s a real peach.”
Hubs: “Tell me about it.”
So while there are not two dentists in Middle Tennessee that could give the same opinion on a 10-year-old’s tooth…. There are two people that agree that I am, in fact, a peach.
We ended up with a stainless-backed, porcelain crown. So far it’s holding up just fine. (Bowing my head and saying quick prayer that sentence remains true.)
MyGirl also now wears a mouthguard – most of the time. And when she doesn’t, I have to go all “peachy” on her…
In August 2008, my daughter broke her FRONT, bottom tooth playing soccer. It was a hot, sticky Sunday afternoon and it was misery. The root was exposed and she was in pain. Lucky for us the best endodontist in the world (email me for a referral!) came to the rescue (on a Sunday!)and repaired what could be repaired and sent us on our way. Because of the nitrous, she couldn’t play soccer the rest of the day, but we did make it back out to the fields to watch what remained of the “First (and only) Annual Coach #2 Jamboree.”
Since August 2008, we have had six temporary crowns and a root canal on that tooth. The bonding wouldn’t stick to what tooth we had left and we had to wait for more than a year to have the root canal b/c the root was not mature enough to have said procedure.
Finally, MyGirl got a permanent crown – well, a so-called permanent crown. I say that only because in MyGirl’s case, it was NOT permanent. She broke this $1400 tooth playing ping pong on New Years Eve.
I talked to the cosmetic dentist that wants to replace her old, broken crown with another “permanent” porcelain crown. I talked to friend’s dad, who was a dentist, he recommended acrylic temporary crown. I talked to another cosmetic dentist who gave completely different advice. (UGGH!)
Hubs took MyGirl to her pediatric dentist (with specific directions to get a recommendation about what to do with the tooth/crown). This dentist would not give an opinion either way. Hubs decided to give me a call after already making a follow-up appointment for sealants and while standing in the lobby.
Frustrated and on the verge of breakdown, I said, “Can I please just talk to the dentist?”
I mean seriously – it’s her FRONT TOOTH.
Hubs: “ I’m already in the lobby.”
Me: “Okay – then let me talk to the receptionist.”
Receptionist and I have a quick conversation about which dentist should call me back and when he would call me back.
Receptionist lady hands my husband the phone back. She must have thought I hung up, b/c while handing husband the phone, she says sarcastically, “Boy - She’s a real peach.”
Hubs: “Tell me about it.”
So while there are not two dentists in Middle Tennessee that could give the same opinion on a 10-year-old’s tooth…. There are two people that agree that I am, in fact, a peach.
We ended up with a stainless-backed, porcelain crown. So far it’s holding up just fine. (Bowing my head and saying quick prayer that sentence remains true.)
MyGirl also now wears a mouthguard – most of the time. And when she doesn’t, I have to go all “peachy” on her…
Friday, June 4, 2010
Divine Secrets of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Soccer Pants
In a perfect world, travel soccer would be all sunshine and lollipops. The friendships that MyGirl makes on this team would last a lifetime and all of her teammates would keep in touch through college and send handwritten letters to each other, have frequent reunions, be in each others weddings and be godmothers of each others children. One of the girls would write a best-selling book about the strong bonds of friendship that travel soccer gave them and that book would eventually be turned into a screenplay.
In the real world, it is not all sunshine and lollipops. It’s not sweet – at all. (I think I can safely guarantee that when MyGirl’s team steps off the field after a game, the other team doesn’t profess how sweet and kind they are.)
AND - I would venture to guess that MyGirl’s team would be classified as one of the more physical teams. (I know the parents on MyGirl’s team are smiling as they read that sentence.)
The team used to do this drill before warm-ups. Each girl had a penny (a colored practice jersey) tucked into the back of their shorts. All the girls had to run around and pull the penny out of each others shorts while making sure that their penny didn’t get pulled. The girl with the last penny was the winner. Fun, right? Sure – until they start FULL-ON tackling each other to get the pennies. On the sidelines, the parents were more worried about the girls getting hurt by their own teammates during warm-ups than during a game. They literally used to beat the crap out of each other.
Body checks came naturally to these girls and they do it all the time, even harder during practice (no refs to call fouls during practice). So, you can try to knock these girls down during a game, but I don’t know how far you would get. They can dig in and stay standing no matter what hits them -- for the most part. And back in the day, before the girls skills matched their opponents – this was their biggest line of defense. Their brute force went a long way.
That said, MyGirl’s team gets called for a lot of fouls. And sometimes, I think they aren’t really fouls – but I’m biased. One of StrikerGirl’s best comments after a game was, “I DID NOT TRIP HER. She just fell down.” I totally believe her.
It used to be that when MyGirl was pushed around on the field, she would retaliate the next time she was around that player. (It took a yellow card to learn that retaliation directly after being pushed around is grounds for... a yellow card.)
Now these girls know each other so much better. They love each other in a way that only teammates can. They take up for one another. So MyGirl doesn’t have to wait until she’s around that player that pushed her around, because one of her teammates will get that girl for her. I know that sounds TERRIBLE. But soccer is a contact sport.
They still push each other around during practice. But there’s an unwritten, unspoken code – “I can take my teammate out, but YOU better not touch her.”
In the words of Ludacris…. “[They’re] not playing around, Make one false move, [They’ll] take you down. So Get Back, you don’t know [them] like that.”
So, yes… The musical stylings of Ludacris are more likely to describe this team than a book called “Sunshine and Soccer Balls,” but there are definitely ties that bind these girls together – a sisterhood. And the longer these girls stay together, the stronger the binding is gonna' get. If I played soccer, I’d rather play with them than against them.
In the real world, it is not all sunshine and lollipops. It’s not sweet – at all. (I think I can safely guarantee that when MyGirl’s team steps off the field after a game, the other team doesn’t profess how sweet and kind they are.)
AND - I would venture to guess that MyGirl’s team would be classified as one of the more physical teams. (I know the parents on MyGirl’s team are smiling as they read that sentence.)
The team used to do this drill before warm-ups. Each girl had a penny (a colored practice jersey) tucked into the back of their shorts. All the girls had to run around and pull the penny out of each others shorts while making sure that their penny didn’t get pulled. The girl with the last penny was the winner. Fun, right? Sure – until they start FULL-ON tackling each other to get the pennies. On the sidelines, the parents were more worried about the girls getting hurt by their own teammates during warm-ups than during a game. They literally used to beat the crap out of each other.
Body checks came naturally to these girls and they do it all the time, even harder during practice (no refs to call fouls during practice). So, you can try to knock these girls down during a game, but I don’t know how far you would get. They can dig in and stay standing no matter what hits them -- for the most part. And back in the day, before the girls skills matched their opponents – this was their biggest line of defense. Their brute force went a long way.
That said, MyGirl’s team gets called for a lot of fouls. And sometimes, I think they aren’t really fouls – but I’m biased. One of StrikerGirl’s best comments after a game was, “I DID NOT TRIP HER. She just fell down.” I totally believe her.
It used to be that when MyGirl was pushed around on the field, she would retaliate the next time she was around that player. (It took a yellow card to learn that retaliation directly after being pushed around is grounds for... a yellow card.)
Now these girls know each other so much better. They love each other in a way that only teammates can. They take up for one another. So MyGirl doesn’t have to wait until she’s around that player that pushed her around, because one of her teammates will get that girl for her. I know that sounds TERRIBLE. But soccer is a contact sport.
They still push each other around during practice. But there’s an unwritten, unspoken code – “I can take my teammate out, but YOU better not touch her.”
In the words of Ludacris…. “[They’re] not playing around, Make one false move, [They’ll] take you down. So Get Back, you don’t know [them] like that.”
So, yes… The musical stylings of Ludacris are more likely to describe this team than a book called “Sunshine and Soccer Balls,” but there are definitely ties that bind these girls together – a sisterhood. And the longer these girls stay together, the stronger the binding is gonna' get. If I played soccer, I’d rather play with them than against them.
Clearly I'm exaggerating. Do these beauty queens look like they could really hurt someone?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Say It Ain't So
This soccer year is officially over and it was a good one. I certainly had a good time watching MyGirl and all of her friends play lots of good soccer. I have to admit at the beginning of Fall, I was a bit nervous.
Coach #3 scared me a little bit at first. He’s very direct. If you ask him a question, please make sure that you are ready to hear the answer. At our first team meeting, he laid down his rules. I remember one rule in particular:
‘You are strictly prohibited from having conversations with him if you are upset directly after practice or a game. If you would like to schedule a time to discuss an issue with him, he is happy to do so. You must wait at least three days to allow yourself to calm down so that you can have a rational, adult conversation.’
(Hmmm, I believe three days is exactly the waiting period for a handgun permit, JUST KIDDING – where we live handguns are not allowed in public parks. Teehee.)
Turns out – I ended up really liking Coach #3. And more importantly, so did MyGirl.
The girls worked hard and learned so much so just like we have every other year, we planned an end-of-the-year party. MyPartnerInCrime (MPIC) had it at her house.
(She’s StrikerGirl’s mom and she is HILARIOUS. MPIC is one of the top five things I LOVE about Travel Soccer. Her husband UTDad – is another one of the top five things.)
She is always a great hostess. The weather was PERFECT for a pool party and luckily – MPIC has an awesome pool with an awesome backyard.
Now, since I have appointed myself the Chairman of the Fun Committee, when MPIC suggested we make tie-dye shirts for the girls, I reluctantly agreed. I have made tie-dyed shirts at least 50 times and I am a self-proclaimed Queen of it. (Self-esteem issues? I think not.)
While the weather was perfect for a pool party, it was too dang hot for standing in the hot, hot sun to tie-dye t-shirts. I downed one diet coke and 4 Gatorades by the time it was over and I swear I would still be there right now if another mom hadn’t stepped in to help me. (Thanks!)
Anyway, the girls and their siblings were splashing around and coming out in small groups to dye their shirts while the other mom and I melted in the sun while explaining precisely how to get the perfect swirl. Every now and again, we could hear a loud laugh from the shaded patio where all the other parents were sitting.
The shirt dying was over at exactly the same time that the food was ready. So, the tie-dye station was cleaned up it was finally time for me and the other mom to sit in the shade and laugh. The food was delicious. And everyone had a really good time. Pictures are starting to roll in of the girls in their shirts and they look fabulous. (The girls and the shirts!)
I am going to miss this year. It’s been fun. The girls have been successful: Four tournaments entered…. Four hard-fought Championship games…. Four Finalist medals. And really – that doesn’t even measure their improvement.
Try-outs are in one-and-a-half weeks. I don’t know who MyGirl’s coach is going to be next year or what team she’ll be on. I don’t know what next year is going to be like or who the parents are that I’ll be sitting with on the sidelines. But, whatever happens, it will be fine.
I do have one concern: I have to find another project for next year’s end-of-the-year party. AND – it’s got to be better than Tie Dye!! Suggestions welcome.
Note to self: Don’t start with the good stuff.
Coach #3 scared me a little bit at first. He’s very direct. If you ask him a question, please make sure that you are ready to hear the answer. At our first team meeting, he laid down his rules. I remember one rule in particular:
‘You are strictly prohibited from having conversations with him if you are upset directly after practice or a game. If you would like to schedule a time to discuss an issue with him, he is happy to do so. You must wait at least three days to allow yourself to calm down so that you can have a rational, adult conversation.’
(Hmmm, I believe three days is exactly the waiting period for a handgun permit, JUST KIDDING – where we live handguns are not allowed in public parks. Teehee.)
Turns out – I ended up really liking Coach #3. And more importantly, so did MyGirl.
The girls worked hard and learned so much so just like we have every other year, we planned an end-of-the-year party. MyPartnerInCrime (MPIC) had it at her house.
(She’s StrikerGirl’s mom and she is HILARIOUS. MPIC is one of the top five things I LOVE about Travel Soccer. Her husband UTDad – is another one of the top five things.)
She is always a great hostess. The weather was PERFECT for a pool party and luckily – MPIC has an awesome pool with an awesome backyard.
Now, since I have appointed myself the Chairman of the Fun Committee, when MPIC suggested we make tie-dye shirts for the girls, I reluctantly agreed. I have made tie-dyed shirts at least 50 times and I am a self-proclaimed Queen of it. (Self-esteem issues? I think not.)
While the weather was perfect for a pool party, it was too dang hot for standing in the hot, hot sun to tie-dye t-shirts. I downed one diet coke and 4 Gatorades by the time it was over and I swear I would still be there right now if another mom hadn’t stepped in to help me. (Thanks!)
Anyway, the girls and their siblings were splashing around and coming out in small groups to dye their shirts while the other mom and I melted in the sun while explaining precisely how to get the perfect swirl. Every now and again, we could hear a loud laugh from the shaded patio where all the other parents were sitting.
The shirt dying was over at exactly the same time that the food was ready. So, the tie-dye station was cleaned up it was finally time for me and the other mom to sit in the shade and laugh. The food was delicious. And everyone had a really good time. Pictures are starting to roll in of the girls in their shirts and they look fabulous. (The girls and the shirts!)
I am going to miss this year. It’s been fun. The girls have been successful: Four tournaments entered…. Four hard-fought Championship games…. Four Finalist medals. And really – that doesn’t even measure their improvement.
Try-outs are in one-and-a-half weeks. I don’t know who MyGirl’s coach is going to be next year or what team she’ll be on. I don’t know what next year is going to be like or who the parents are that I’ll be sitting with on the sidelines. But, whatever happens, it will be fine.
I do have one concern: I have to find another project for next year’s end-of-the-year party. AND – it’s got to be better than Tie Dye!! Suggestions welcome.
Note to self: Don’t start with the good stuff.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Girls vs Boys
When Coach #2 was tricked into taking My Girl’s team (teehee), he never knew what he was getting himself into. I don’t think he knew how much the girls would miss Coach #1 – the faux-hawk, the jokes, the accent. I don’t think he knew how unskilled we were. I really don’t think he knew how much he would like that group of girls.
Now, I’m just going to tell you – those girls are workers. They are strong and they are fighters (sometimes literally – EEK!). They are rough and they are tough and they might not be the best, but they want to be – and “want” goes a long, long way. (Rough and tough go a long way, too – but I’ll save that for another post.)
Anyway – I digress. Coach #2 also coached a group of boys that were one year younger than My Girl's team. Those boys were (and are) fast, skilled and determined. They had Coach #2 for four months longer than we did and they were better than us. I remember the first time I watched one of their games; his players were dropping the ball back to the goalie to switch the field – SEVEN years old. They were organized and had methods to their madness. We were one step above kickball.
Coach #2 wanted to see My Girl’s team play a real game before the first outdoor tournament. He wanted to see if all of the hardworking drills had actually given the girls some real-life, game skills. So we scrimmaged his boys. Needless to say, the girls went home with a loss. But, my guess – some of those boys went home a little bit afraid of what a girl (or a sister) might be capable of.
The next time we scrimmaged, we lost by less and eventually we tied. That’s right – TIED – which if I remember correctly felt like a win to the girls and a loss for the boys. In the two years that My Girl had Coach #2, her team scrimmaged those boys more times than I can count. The girls practiced with them, had pick-up games with them and really got to know them. You probably won’t find bigger fans of that team than the players (and parents) on My Girl’s team – and I would like to think that those boys and their parents are just as big of fans as our team.
As time passed, we got Coach #3 and we didn’t get to see those boys so much anymore. And we definitely didn’t get to play with or against them.
A couple weeks ago, the girls got to scrimmage them again during practice. Some of the girls were so excited. That morning, one of the girls woke up, wiped the sleep out of her eyes and said, “I can’t wait to beat the crap out of those boys tonight.” I know and love that child, and I’ll bet she never says that before she plays “That Blue Team” that is located 30 minutes northeast of our town. Does she want to play “That Blue Team”? ABSOLUTELY!! But for a different reason.
The rivalry between Coach #2’s Boys is one of the most enjoyable things about travel soccer for My Girl. When the girls play them, they have a swagger in their step. They play loose and free and we all get to see them playing soccer at their best. They are all “on” and it seems like everyone is having a good day at the fields.
There are no refs and the score when the whistle blows only matters for bragging rights. Winning doesn’t get the girls any closer to the finals and there is no medal given at the end of the game. My Girl and her teammates know these boys and what they are capable of. And the fact that the girls can compete with them – win, lose or tie – means that the girls know what they are capable of too.
It’s refreshing. It’s fun. It’s progress.
Now, I’m just going to tell you – those girls are workers. They are strong and they are fighters (sometimes literally – EEK!). They are rough and they are tough and they might not be the best, but they want to be – and “want” goes a long, long way. (Rough and tough go a long way, too – but I’ll save that for another post.)
Anyway – I digress. Coach #2 also coached a group of boys that were one year younger than My Girl's team. Those boys were (and are) fast, skilled and determined. They had Coach #2 for four months longer than we did and they were better than us. I remember the first time I watched one of their games; his players were dropping the ball back to the goalie to switch the field – SEVEN years old. They were organized and had methods to their madness. We were one step above kickball.
Coach #2 wanted to see My Girl’s team play a real game before the first outdoor tournament. He wanted to see if all of the hardworking drills had actually given the girls some real-life, game skills. So we scrimmaged his boys. Needless to say, the girls went home with a loss. But, my guess – some of those boys went home a little bit afraid of what a girl (or a sister) might be capable of.
The next time we scrimmaged, we lost by less and eventually we tied. That’s right – TIED – which if I remember correctly felt like a win to the girls and a loss for the boys. In the two years that My Girl had Coach #2, her team scrimmaged those boys more times than I can count. The girls practiced with them, had pick-up games with them and really got to know them. You probably won’t find bigger fans of that team than the players (and parents) on My Girl’s team – and I would like to think that those boys and their parents are just as big of fans as our team.
As time passed, we got Coach #3 and we didn’t get to see those boys so much anymore. And we definitely didn’t get to play with or against them.
A couple weeks ago, the girls got to scrimmage them again during practice. Some of the girls were so excited. That morning, one of the girls woke up, wiped the sleep out of her eyes and said, “I can’t wait to beat the crap out of those boys tonight.” I know and love that child, and I’ll bet she never says that before she plays “That Blue Team” that is located 30 minutes northeast of our town. Does she want to play “That Blue Team”? ABSOLUTELY!! But for a different reason.
The rivalry between Coach #2’s Boys is one of the most enjoyable things about travel soccer for My Girl. When the girls play them, they have a swagger in their step. They play loose and free and we all get to see them playing soccer at their best. They are all “on” and it seems like everyone is having a good day at the fields.
There are no refs and the score when the whistle blows only matters for bragging rights. Winning doesn’t get the girls any closer to the finals and there is no medal given at the end of the game. My Girl and her teammates know these boys and what they are capable of. And the fact that the girls can compete with them – win, lose or tie – means that the girls know what they are capable of too.
It’s refreshing. It’s fun. It’s progress.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Some Clarity on Parity
So, you wanna know what parity is? (Or maybe you don't.) It's kind of this theory about how to develop players in youth soccer. Let me explain it this way....
When we went to our first soccer try-outs way back when my girl was seven (three years ago), this a lady stood in front of all the parents and said something like this (Reader's Digest version):
"This is NOT rec soccer."
We all know what rec soccer is, right? It's when we practice once a week and then play a game on Saturday. And we do it for 8 weeks. No one is supposed to keep score - but they do and actually so do the refs. And so do the parents - you KNOW they do. Everyone has to play at least a half and it's all about exercise and learning fundamental soccer skills.
But here's the rub - most of the time in rec soccer (in my area), the coaches are usually just one kid's parent who may or may not know anything at all about soccer except that you can't touch the ball with your hands and you win if you score more goals than the other team. So, how many fundamental soccer skills are these kids actually learning? And from whom.
SIDEBAR - I am in no way speaking negatively towards any rec soccer coach either my boy or my girl ever had. I can't tell you how much I appreciated the boy's coach that carried around a copy of Soccer for Dummies. He was trying. And I'm giving him his props. Loved that guy and bought him a nice gift certificate at the end of the season.
So, we are not playing rec soccer. We are playing competitive soccer. No guarantee you even make the team. Well it turns out, in our case, after our first try-outs - everyone made the team. Twelve people tried out. Twelve people made the team. We played 6v6 which means six people could be on the field at a time. So, when we played in the six games of our first Fall season.... there were five people on the bench. No one got that much playing time - which made it nice because you couldn't ever tell if your kid made the mistake that caused one of those resounding goals as she was only in for like four minutes at a time.
So after those crazy six games that I will never ever forget (mostly because my girl won't let me), we added a few new players, enough to divide the team. So, how are we going to divide? Are we going to take the top nine players and put them on one team and the bottom nine on the second team - which I call "A/B". Or are we going to line kids up with similar ability and put them on the opposite teams to play "parity." (Sometimes called the "Academy" program.)
As it was explained to me, the good thing about parity is that in long run it's better for the team. If the kids with the most talent are constantly challenging the lesser kids, those kids will get better. So when we move from 6v6 to 8v8 or 11v11, we will have a larger pool of good soccer players to choose from. Good theory, right? Well - it is at least a theory.
Something didn't sit right with me about this theory. What about the kids with the most talent? Who is going to challenge them? Their counterpart is on the other team.
So those were my first thoughts. And since we have this lovely invention called the internet (Thanks Al Gore!) I thought I would just look it up.
Searching "parity soccer"
Searching "development of youth soccer players"
Searching "theories youth soccer"
Nothing, Nathan, Nada. I couldn't find anything written about the benefits of parity on the internet anywhere. I found the Youth Soccer Guidelines, which do recommend parity - but then I thought, "Yeah, but what's their motive?" How PC would it be if they recommended a cut-throat youth soccer program for seven-year-olds? Do you think Publix would nationally sponsor that organization?
So, my "research" continued by talking to some friends that have kids play on travel teams for other youth sports. Does baseball do that? Ummm, no. The parent I talked to said they actually have only one team and cut kids. And it's perfectly acceptable to say, "My kid didn't make it this year, so we're going to work hard and try again next year." Same with softball.
And guess what - when year-round swim teams put together two or more relay teams for a swim meet, they don't take the top two swimmers and have them compete against each other. You won't set any meet records that way.
When that was brought up, "they" said that you can't compare soccer to other competitive sports because it's so different. (???)
Okay - no worries. I'll look at the club's websites that won the Division I National Championship's and see what their clubs do.... well, guess what, it ain't parity.
Now, to be fair. The recommendations given by US Youth Soccer for parity are to go through the U11 age bracket and then the recommendation is to split to an "A" team and a "B" team. AND there are many, many clubs that have an Academy Program. And some of those Academies play parity - and some pretend they play parity.
And some have an Academy program and a Travel Program. In these cases, it seems (I don't really know, but from the websites, it seems) that the Academy teams play travel soccer in local areas and play in local tournaments while the Travel teams play anywhere and everywhere they can get a game or get accepted into a tournament.
So now, in case you haven't inferred my opinion about parity soccer, I'm just going to tell you. I don't like it. I think that they should group people of the same abilities.
Here's why:
1. If you play parity, the better players don't get challenged as much. (Can you strengthen the weak by weakening the strong?)
2. Playing parity, doesn't do anything to help the confidence of the lesser players and more times than not, a team that is confident in their abilities will win. (Especially, when they are playing a team that is OVER-confident.)
3. If you play A/B, it promotes leadership from players from all levels. And some teams are dying for leadership.
Now keep in mind, I am nothing but a soccer mom with an opinion. Take it or leave it, but now, you know what it is - maybe...
When we went to our first soccer try-outs way back when my girl was seven (three years ago), this a lady stood in front of all the parents and said something like this (Reader's Digest version):
"This is NOT rec soccer."
We all know what rec soccer is, right? It's when we practice once a week and then play a game on Saturday. And we do it for 8 weeks. No one is supposed to keep score - but they do and actually so do the refs. And so do the parents - you KNOW they do. Everyone has to play at least a half and it's all about exercise and learning fundamental soccer skills.
But here's the rub - most of the time in rec soccer (in my area), the coaches are usually just one kid's parent who may or may not know anything at all about soccer except that you can't touch the ball with your hands and you win if you score more goals than the other team. So, how many fundamental soccer skills are these kids actually learning? And from whom.
SIDEBAR - I am in no way speaking negatively towards any rec soccer coach either my boy or my girl ever had. I can't tell you how much I appreciated the boy's coach that carried around a copy of Soccer for Dummies. He was trying. And I'm giving him his props. Loved that guy and bought him a nice gift certificate at the end of the season.
So, we are not playing rec soccer. We are playing competitive soccer. No guarantee you even make the team. Well it turns out, in our case, after our first try-outs - everyone made the team. Twelve people tried out. Twelve people made the team. We played 6v6 which means six people could be on the field at a time. So, when we played in the six games of our first Fall season.... there were five people on the bench. No one got that much playing time - which made it nice because you couldn't ever tell if your kid made the mistake that caused one of those resounding goals as she was only in for like four minutes at a time.
So after those crazy six games that I will never ever forget (mostly because my girl won't let me), we added a few new players, enough to divide the team. So, how are we going to divide? Are we going to take the top nine players and put them on one team and the bottom nine on the second team - which I call "A/B". Or are we going to line kids up with similar ability and put them on the opposite teams to play "parity." (Sometimes called the "Academy" program.)
As it was explained to me, the good thing about parity is that in long run it's better for the team. If the kids with the most talent are constantly challenging the lesser kids, those kids will get better. So when we move from 6v6 to 8v8 or 11v11, we will have a larger pool of good soccer players to choose from. Good theory, right? Well - it is at least a theory.
Something didn't sit right with me about this theory. What about the kids with the most talent? Who is going to challenge them? Their counterpart is on the other team.
So those were my first thoughts. And since we have this lovely invention called the internet (Thanks Al Gore!) I thought I would just look it up.
Searching "parity soccer"
Searching "development of youth soccer players"
Searching "theories youth soccer"
Nothing, Nathan, Nada. I couldn't find anything written about the benefits of parity on the internet anywhere. I found the Youth Soccer Guidelines, which do recommend parity - but then I thought, "Yeah, but what's their motive?" How PC would it be if they recommended a cut-throat youth soccer program for seven-year-olds? Do you think Publix would nationally sponsor that organization?
So, my "research" continued by talking to some friends that have kids play on travel teams for other youth sports. Does baseball do that? Ummm, no. The parent I talked to said they actually have only one team and cut kids. And it's perfectly acceptable to say, "My kid didn't make it this year, so we're going to work hard and try again next year." Same with softball.
And guess what - when year-round swim teams put together two or more relay teams for a swim meet, they don't take the top two swimmers and have them compete against each other. You won't set any meet records that way.
When that was brought up, "they" said that you can't compare soccer to other competitive sports because it's so different. (???)
Okay - no worries. I'll look at the club's websites that won the Division I National Championship's and see what their clubs do.... well, guess what, it ain't parity.
Now, to be fair. The recommendations given by US Youth Soccer for parity are to go through the U11 age bracket and then the recommendation is to split to an "A" team and a "B" team. AND there are many, many clubs that have an Academy Program. And some of those Academies play parity - and some pretend they play parity.
And some have an Academy program and a Travel Program. In these cases, it seems (I don't really know, but from the websites, it seems) that the Academy teams play travel soccer in local areas and play in local tournaments while the Travel teams play anywhere and everywhere they can get a game or get accepted into a tournament.
So now, in case you haven't inferred my opinion about parity soccer, I'm just going to tell you. I don't like it. I think that they should group people of the same abilities.
Here's why:
1. If you play parity, the better players don't get challenged as much. (Can you strengthen the weak by weakening the strong?)
2. Playing parity, doesn't do anything to help the confidence of the lesser players and more times than not, a team that is confident in their abilities will win. (Especially, when they are playing a team that is OVER-confident.)
3. If you play A/B, it promotes leadership from players from all levels. And some teams are dying for leadership.
Now keep in mind, I am nothing but a soccer mom with an opinion. Take it or leave it, but now, you know what it is - maybe...
How It All Began
My daughter plays travel soccer. She’s only 10 now, but we are coming up on our fourth year of the madness. And I don’t exaggerate when I say "madness." Something about competitive sports brings out the competitiveness in everyone about everything.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I wasn’t competitive before travel soccer, because I was. I made it my mission to win at Candy Land – against three year olds. Think whatever you want about that, but I think it’s important to know that it’s okay to lose. And that it’s okay to win. And to know how it feels when you lose and your mother rubs it in your face for an entire week that, you are in fact, a smart and beautiful child, you just can’t seem to master Candy Land. And when you finally do beat your mom at Candy Land, you need to know how to rub it in her face – with grace and respect. Needless to say, my kids prefer to win, but they know that losing is just part of playing the game.
Okay – enough about my parenting, back to travel soccer – Our first fall season of travel soccer was misery. We were going up against teams that had been practicing together for a full year – or two. Our opponents were fast, knew their positions and had serious ball moves. Liz was 8. And just to clarify, we were playing against 8 year olds. We practiced twice a week for 1 ½ hours. We played only six games in four months and they were horrifying. We got creamed, skinned, shellacked and any other word you can think of that would equate to a 13 to nothing loss. (I do tend to exaggerate, but this time – it’s all for real.)
Now – here’s the amazing thing. After our last game of the fall season, most of the girls on the team didn’t want to give up. They wanted to get back. They wanted to win. And that is just what they did.
Our coach, Coach #1, was moving back to England and our manager found a replacement. It was sort of an amazing feat. We don’t really have many coaches to choose from in our area. And who on earth would take a team in the middle of a soccer year with such an outstanding record (Record Reminder: 0-6, with only one goal scored in the entire six games.)?
Enter Coach #2. We also picked up a few new girls so that we had enough players for two teams. At the time we played 6v6 so there were about 16 girls total. Now, Coach #2 came in and took over – no looking back. When he showed up to our first practice, he got right to business. He went from drill to drill. Practices started early and ended late. Additionally, he set up optional practices and optional trainings and optional pick-up games. When it rained, we made places to practice inside. On more than one occasion, we played on one quarter of a church gym floor while men played basketball on three sides of us.
Winter came and we continued to practice and practice and practice. Then we got brave and signed up for our first indoor tournament at a local high school.
The last practice before this tournament, Coach #2 looked at the girls and said, “Are we going to win tomorrow?” The new girls said, “YEAH!” with all the enthusiasm in the world. The girls who had been driven down Humiliation Lane the six games prior said nothing.
There were six teams in that tournament, two of them were ours. Both teams won their first travel soccer game that weekend. One of the teams, won their first tournament.
And so it went. With two teams, we needed two coaches and so another was hired. The girls were split into two teams. The split brought a little drama to our little team and opened my eyes to something I had never heard of before - “parity.” I had no idea what it was, but I definitely have an opinion now.
Are you surprised?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I wasn’t competitive before travel soccer, because I was. I made it my mission to win at Candy Land – against three year olds. Think whatever you want about that, but I think it’s important to know that it’s okay to lose. And that it’s okay to win. And to know how it feels when you lose and your mother rubs it in your face for an entire week that, you are in fact, a smart and beautiful child, you just can’t seem to master Candy Land. And when you finally do beat your mom at Candy Land, you need to know how to rub it in her face – with grace and respect. Needless to say, my kids prefer to win, but they know that losing is just part of playing the game.
Okay – enough about my parenting, back to travel soccer – Our first fall season of travel soccer was misery. We were going up against teams that had been practicing together for a full year – or two. Our opponents were fast, knew their positions and had serious ball moves. Liz was 8. And just to clarify, we were playing against 8 year olds. We practiced twice a week for 1 ½ hours. We played only six games in four months and they were horrifying. We got creamed, skinned, shellacked and any other word you can think of that would equate to a 13 to nothing loss. (I do tend to exaggerate, but this time – it’s all for real.)
Now – here’s the amazing thing. After our last game of the fall season, most of the girls on the team didn’t want to give up. They wanted to get back. They wanted to win. And that is just what they did.
Our coach, Coach #1, was moving back to England and our manager found a replacement. It was sort of an amazing feat. We don’t really have many coaches to choose from in our area. And who on earth would take a team in the middle of a soccer year with such an outstanding record (Record Reminder: 0-6, with only one goal scored in the entire six games.)?
Enter Coach #2. We also picked up a few new girls so that we had enough players for two teams. At the time we played 6v6 so there were about 16 girls total. Now, Coach #2 came in and took over – no looking back. When he showed up to our first practice, he got right to business. He went from drill to drill. Practices started early and ended late. Additionally, he set up optional practices and optional trainings and optional pick-up games. When it rained, we made places to practice inside. On more than one occasion, we played on one quarter of a church gym floor while men played basketball on three sides of us.
Winter came and we continued to practice and practice and practice. Then we got brave and signed up for our first indoor tournament at a local high school.
The last practice before this tournament, Coach #2 looked at the girls and said, “Are we going to win tomorrow?” The new girls said, “YEAH!” with all the enthusiasm in the world. The girls who had been driven down Humiliation Lane the six games prior said nothing.
There were six teams in that tournament, two of them were ours. Both teams won their first travel soccer game that weekend. One of the teams, won their first tournament.
And so it went. With two teams, we needed two coaches and so another was hired. The girls were split into two teams. The split brought a little drama to our little team and opened my eyes to something I had never heard of before - “parity.” I had no idea what it was, but I definitely have an opinion now.
Are you surprised?
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