My Team

I know I said my next post would be about the game in the hotel. I had good intentions. A recent, unexpected trip to the ER, which landed me an overnight stay and minor surgery has gotten in the way of my intentions.

I know I have written about how the girls on the team are sort of like sisters. During my two-week recovery, I will tell you that now more than ever, I know that there is a team behind the team - and I'm happy to be part of it.

I have trouble accepting help from time to time. I always feel like I can manage "it." As I was getting discharged from the hospital, I was making my list of what I needed before I went home. I wanted to be dropped off at the house, put in bed, and then I wanted Hubs to go to the grocery to fill my prescriptions and get me some soup. But I didn't want canned soup, I wanted chicken and rice soup from a restaurant. The last round of pain meds made sequencing events difficult and eventually I just gave up and decided that going home and going to bed was all I needed to worry about.

About that time one of the soccer moms called and said, "I heard you were in the hospital, is everything okay?" I really don't remember much of the conversation as I was heavily medicated, but she offered to bring me chicken and rice soup the next day. Seriously, was she reading my mind? I don't know what made me say "yes," but I did - like immediately. After hanging up, I thought, "Did I just accept charity?" And then I dosed off.

The next day, I slept all day long and I was starving. Just about that time, she showed up with the soup, cheesy bread and fruit pizza. (I love her fruit pizza and she knows this.) I ate two pieces of fruit pizza and went back to bed. Man, that was good. I had the soup for breakfast the next day.

The soccer moms on the team fed my family for the entire week. Do you understand what that means? I didn't have to worry about anything regarding food. There was plenty every night and the leftovers fed us the next day. It also meant we didn't have to go to the grocery store, which was AWESOME because I couldn't even sit up for more than 30 minutes at time.

And it wasn't just that...they sent me text messages to see if I needed anything, sent me messages on Facebook, called me and checked on me to make sure I didn't need anything at all. They made sure MyGirl got to practice and got home. MPIC even offered to the most hated of all household chores - laundry.

It sure made my life easier and was greatly appreciated.

The truth is, I spend a lot of hours with these families. For the most part, I can tell you the name of every member of the family (pets included), where they work and where the kids go to school.We even travel together at least twice a year (more than I do with my actual relatives).

They are my extended family. They are MY team. Now more than ever, I know that these people will be my defense when my offense isn't looking so good. They will make my punt look like a perfect pass. (I'm thinking about the recent KY hotel block of rooms - thanks for rolling with the punches on that one.)

Thanks for letting me be part of the team.

Talk to the Hand

Soccer in Indianapolis. It went something like this:

When we woke up on Saturday morning, the original forecast of 60 degree weather with a 30 percent chance of rain had been changed to 60 percent chance of rain with 50 degree weather. It seemed a lot colder than that. Of course, it started to sprinkle on the way to the fields and it started to rain at kickoff. It wasn't a heavy rain, just enough to be annoying when your standing in it.

Several of our parents have pop-up tents that keep us shaded on hot days and dry when it rains. But since we had driven so far with luggage and soccer gear, not everyone brought their tents. The few that had them set them up and all the parents huddled under them while the girls warmed up between fields. Before the game was about to start, our manager stood in front of us and said, "Which one of these are we going to take over to the girls?" We all sort of looked at our feet. The parents fit perfectly under those tents and the girls were going to get wet anyway.... Said manager looked a little shocked. . She asked again, "Really??? We're not going give a tent to the girls?" Eventually - the girls had a tent.

Game #1 - Luck-a-Duck

The rain sort of slowed the girls down. The wet ball was making what would have normally been a solid pass a little squirrely. The girls were over-running the ball and playing a little tight. At half-time, we were down, 0-1. About a quarter of the way in, MyGirl took a punt from the goalie out of the air, got a bad touch and it soared right back toward the goalie. The goalie bobbled it; it slipped between her legs and into the goal. Tie Game. (Luck-a-Duck). A bit later, we got another goal and for the rest of the game we "played to the flags." Win.

Game #2 - Sideways Rain

Between the games, the rain cleared, but it got colder. I had taken MyGirl to a Laundromat and threw all of her wet stuff in the dryer so that she wouldn't be wet AND cold during the second game. The Laundromat had a sign on the door that said, "You can NOT wear hoods on your head inside the Laundromat." I felt pretty safe (Sarcasm!). But at least when I left there, she was dry. We made it back to the fields and during warm-ups it started to rain. First a sprinkle, then a steady, cold pour. At kick off, the wind started and the girls were playing in sideways rain. The ball was getting held up in puddles and muddy spots on the field. That's not the reason we lost - the field conditions were the same for both teams, but it was definitely misery. The girls played tough and we had a few unlucky breaks. We went back to the hotel; MyGirl took a shower and crashed. I went to a safer, cleaner Laundromat to get everything ready for Sunday.

Game #3 - Welcome to Thugville

So we played a team from South Central Indiana on Sunday morning. I take back everything I said about our girls being rough. These girls were ROUGH. They were...thugs. (They probably wear their hoods up in Laundromats.) About two minutes into the game one of their players shoved one of ours with two hands as a defensive move. I'll be the first to admit that MyGirl has given a hard shoulder or two after a play, but that is ridiculous. The ref did call a foul on her. But then he lets the girls line up five feet away and as soon as All-StarGirl steps to kick the ball, they charge her. (They are supposed to be 10-feet away and they have to stay in place until she kicks the ball.) Our sideline went crazy. It went down hill from there. The ref-fing got worse. During the second half, StrikerGirl collides with one of their players. The girl gets up and pushes StrikerGirl. Without hesitation, StrikerGirl pushes her back. The ref does NOTHING. No fouls, no warnings, no cards.

The funniest part of the game though was that Coach #3 and their coach "had words." Now, Coach #3 is sarcastic and his verbal skills leave nothing to be desired. I heard the coach of the thugs say, "You STARTED it!" like a kid in grade school. Then I saw them exchange a few words and then Coach #3 extended his arm, put his hand up and said, "Talk to the hand." All of the girls on the bench started cracking up. I'm laughing right now thinking about it. But apparently that ended it, so it must have been appropriate.

Thank goodness the girls from Thugville didn't win that game (or any game of the weekend); they may have lit a trash can on fire to celebrate or looted the concession stand. Coach #3 could have gotten shanked. It's a good thing he didn't use any three-syllable words to quiet that guy down.

The girls ended up third place in the tournament. Not bad. I'll post again later to give everyone a run-down on the hotel game. It was a fun one!

Finalist-ly!!!

Oh My Goodness! They did it. They brought home the hardware! And not just any hardware - the hardware with the with the Blue Ribbon!

MyGirl and her team are CHAMPIONS! After the last year of entering four tournaments and bringing home FOUR Finalist medals - they finally made it over the hump and walked to the car with a CHAMPION Medal around their necks.

Not for nuthin' - those four finalist medals were fought for. They were hard to get. Many teams went home early on Sundays while MyGirl's team (and parents and siblings) hung out for the Championship match just to lose. I'll say this - the WORST loss of any tournament seems to be the Championship match because they are SO close to walking away feeling like they are the best - even if they did their best.

The great thing about this tournament is that MyGirl learned a little something too. During yesterday's semi-finals MyGirl got yelled at by Coach #3 and she did something that she rarely does... she yelled back at him. EEEK! I had no idea what she said but I know MyGirl. I KNOW it was out of frustration. In general, she doesn't talk back and she NEVER talks back to the coach. Well, Coach #3 might have also known that, but I could tell (and so could she), he was not happy with her response.

YANK! Out of the game she went - to take a well-deserved time out, just after a brief and what-I-found-out-later-to-be stern "lesson" from the coach. When she went back in, she looked to be...a bit calmer. At half-time, the score was 0-0.

The second half, it looked like MyGirl's team had been replaced by a whole new (better) team and they had fire in their eyes. (I have no idea what was said at the half-time talk, but I'm hoping Coach #3 "vaulted it" so he can pull it out again!)

Less than two minutes in, MyGirl rocketed a shot from inside the 18 and they were up 1-0. She was happy. I was happy. She ran back to her position, saw me cheering, pointed at me and said, "That was for you!"

THAT is why my kid is so cool! Here's another reason (I think anyway):

Over the course of four games this weekend, we had the same center ref three times. (Refs definitely deserve their own post and I promise, I'll get to it one day.) This ref, had some minimal left-side paralysis. His left hand was contracted and he held his arm close to his body. At times you could see him supporting his left upper extremity with his right.

Coach #3 told me after we had won and before the medal ceremony, MyGirl had a conversation with that ref that went something like this:

MyGirl: 'I have a question.'
Ref: 'Okay, ask.'
MyGirl: 'How come when you point with your left hand, you hold your hand like this?'

I know that some parents would be completely embarrassed right now, but I'm not. I'm proud.

Ref explained that he had cerebral palsy and that he has some minimal impairments on his left side. He uses ref-ing games as his exercise.

I have told MyGirl and TheBoy their whole lives, when you see someone that's different, don't stare, just ask 'em. And now I know that all the times that I said it. She listened.

And I'm so grateful that she had the courage to ask. And I'm even more happy that she saw someone that was different than her and she didn't judge them a bit.

She asked me this morning if there was a cure for that CP. Sadly, there is not.

No matter how many goals MyGirl gets (or doesn't get) I will be proud of her for moments like that. She is a lovely girl and no matter how many Championship medals the girl brings home, she will always be My Girl. (Just FYI - "lovely" is not ALWAYS the adjective I would use to describe her. Especially not in these "tween" years. But as a whole, she is lovely.)

That said, I agree with her. She looks better in blue than she does in red. It brings out the color of her eyes.


Thanks for the good luck wishes. We need them again this weekend when we travel to six hours north for the girls to play some tough teams. Wish us GOOD luck!

Big Girls Don't Cry

But soccer players do. There is no crying in baseball, but in girls’ soccer – there is.

Yesterday was my birthday and to celebrate we headed to the soccer fields. I’ll be honest; I’ve had worse things to do on my birthday.

We live in a small soccer community and the more a team progresses the smaller it gets. So inevitably, MyGirl’s team plays a lot of the same teams over and over again – which in turn means, the girls on MyGirl’s team know the players on the other team.

What’s funny is how much they know about their opponents. They know their numbers, their names and even their favorite ball moves. They know some of them so well they have even come up with nicknames for some of them.

Sometimes the nicknames are mean – so mean that MyGirl has been instructed to only use those nicknames in the car with the doors closed and the windows rolled up. (Most of the time – they are funny and usually a little true… I probably should have said that in the car.)

Anyway, one of the teams they played yesterday has a girl on it that cries EVERY TIME we play them. It’s maddening. The girl falls down (maybe with some help from one of our players, maybe not), stays on the ground, sobs for what seems like 10 minutes and then brushes herself off and continues to play. The whole time, her teams’ parents are commenting on the foul that should be called.

Well yesterday, her own teammate took her out. And amazingly – no comments from the parents on the roughness of play – interesting, isnt’ it? She cried for a while and end up staying in the game. (This is when you ask yourself, "How hurt was she really?")

When we got in the car, I asked MyGirl what she thought about that. She said that when it happened she couldn’t help herself and said aloud (in her most sarcastic voice), “Well, THAT was bound to happen.”

That said, MyGirl shed a few tears yesterday too. She was put in a position that she rarely plays and her coach was yelling at her – not in a harsh way, but definitely on her case. Her tears were out of frustration and I saw it coming. But she sucked it up and did the best she could. Usually, after tears of frustration comes what I refer to as “crazy eyes.” She gets this look on her face like she is going to hurt someone. It’s bad. Well – she didn’t get “crazy eyes” yesterday, which to me means mental progress.

She did, however, get the prettiest goal I have seen her get in awhile, although she won’t take (and doesn’t deserve) all the credit. All-StarGirl had a beautiful penalty kick, which landed right on MyGirl’s head and from there – it darted past the goalie's hands into the goal. (Totally YouTube Worthy!)

MyGirl said, “All-StarGirl should get the goal because all I did was close my eyes and turn my head toward the goal.”

Well that maybe true, but all I can say is, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!”

Anyway - We have our first tournament of the season next weekend. And I have never seen more heartbreaking tears than at a girls soccer tournament. This is what the girls practice for. And no matter how well they play, a hard-earned loss in a tournament hurts more than most injuries suffered on the field.

So, wish good luck to MyGirl and her team this weekend because all true soccer moms (new or seasoned) know one thing…. GOOD luck is better than NO luck or BAD luck!

I personally, would like to see some tears of joy this weekend!

Getting Gear'd Up...

Soccer season has officially begun (about six weeks ago actually!) and it’s high time I get the car stocked for the season. Better late than never, I guess. I am in no way a soccer veteran but there are some things I have learned that I can’t travel without.

MyGirl’s first outdoor soccer tournament was a muddy mess. They played their first game in the rain on Friday night. The fields were still in decent condition when we left that evening, but when we returned on Saturday around noon, I saw tow trucks pulling mini vans from the what-used-to-be-a-grassy parking lot. I felt a little panicked until Hubs offered to drop us off with "all of the stuff" and he would park at the strip mall across the street.

I fumbled with a cooler, two camping chairs, a bag full of snacks, my purse and my to-go cup of coffee. Can you say AMATEUR?

So here’s the deal… if it’s raining – and I can almost guarantee that you will play in the rain at least once this year… Don’t bring your cooler, your snacks or your purse… Bring your ponchos, galoshes and an umbrella. Will you look like a total dork on the sidelines? Yes, but you will be dry. (The only person that I have seen rock out the rain outfit is MPIC – but that girlie can glam up any look – just sayin’.)

The girls played in a sloggy bog of mud that was at least a half-cleat high that weekend and it was a little cold. One of the girls on the team was wearing cotton-lined, “swishy” pants under her uniform shorts to keep warm. Not a bad idea – until those pants got so wet and muddy that she was stepping on them while she was running and it was really slowing her down. Her parents weren’t there and the girl was staying with SM3.

We knew we had to do something. So at half time, we ran over to the sidelines, the girls circled around us so that no one could see what we were doing. I held an old towel around the girl and SM3 pulled off her shorts and pants (over her shin guards, socks and cleats) and then slipped her shorts back on her – all the while the girls were attentively listening to Coach #2’s half-time drumming.

Whew! Lesson learned. Girls wear leggings that layer under their shin guards.

So here are a few things I try to keep in my car during soccer season:

• Deluxe camping chair – And when I say deluxe, I mean lightweight and easy to carry. You will appreciate it when you have secured the last parking spot in the lot and you have to do a 3K just to get to your field
• Umbrella – I use mine to provide shade as well. (Me + The Sun = Not Friends)
• Ponchos – one for everybody in the family
• Old towels – especially when it rains (or for when your youngest child finds a sinkhole – right, SM3?)
• Wet wipes - You will need them – Pinky Swear.
• Blanket or two – For when it’s cold or to let people sit on it.
• A couple of extra bottles of water
• Sunscreen
• A box of SCENTED Fabric Softener Sheets – to stuff in cleats or backpack when the smell is just too much.

IF I was really good, and I’m not…. I would also put an old pair of shin guards, an extra ball and some socks in there…

Before games, I always try to make sure MyGirl has packed the following in her backpack:

• Both jersey tops – I’ll repeat (as does the manager over and over and over)… she needs BOTH jersey tops at every game. Sometimes, she is assigned to wear white, but when she shows up, she has to wear blue. It's just part of life. Just pack'em both.
• Mouthguard…. See earlier post.
• Inhaler (exercise-induced asthma) - Nothing is worse than leaving it in the car when she needs it.
• Shin guards and cleats (DUH!)
• Extra socks – especially if she has more than one game.
• Extra clean shirt – in case we go somewhere after the game
• Crocs, Slides or other slip on shoes (MyGirl normally wears them to the fields and changes into her cleats in the car.)
• Plastic bag – to put wet cleats/clothes in
• Water bottle (preferably filled with water)
• Gear for the colder days - “Underarmour” shirt, gloves (with grippies) and an ear-band

Last year, I started letting her pack the bag and then I go through it to make sure she has everything.

If there is a new soccer mom out there reading this… I hope it helps. To all of my soccer friends, I know you already do all this stuff because I learned from all of you.

On the Road Again

The girls on MyGirl’s soccer team had a one-night road trip to play some Super Friendlies in southern Kentucky. For those of you who don’t know, Super Friendlies are sort of like a Jamboree. One club hosts several teams that play round robins against teams of their own caliber. It’s the first time MyGirl’s team has ever stayed over night to play Super Friendlies, but let me tell you – I LOVED it! Four games, much cheaper and no worrying about whether we made it out of our bracket.

The girls, as you can imagine, love staying in a hotel with all their friends. They walk the halls, hang out in each others rooms and generally have a good time being somewhere that’s not at home. Oh yeah – and they get to play soccer in between.

When the girls were U9’s (8 years old), gas prices rose to right around $5 a gallon. We were playing in a tournament that was about an hour-and-half drive. In general, we probably would have driven back and forth, but a few of us decided to stay overnight at hotel because it was going to cost the same as filling our cars with gas. The few of us actually turned into all of us. The girls had so much fun swimming in the indoor pool, getting in the sauna, jumping in the hot tub and then back in the pool again. Then we all headed over to a nearby pizza place and they couldn’t seat us all together for two hours…. That wasn’t going to work, so we headed to the restaurant right next door and they accommodated us on a patio. Kids at one table- Adults at another….Add in the fact that the place had a full bar and it FAB.

In the Fall of the following year, we were talking about the hotel we would be staying at for an upcoming tournament Coach #2 found out we had an indoor pool at our hotel and said the girls were only allowed to swim for an hour. When SoccerMomCubed (SM3) and I heard that, we thought he was kidding.

Me: “Are you serious? The girls love that,”
Coach #2: “Sorry, swimming tires you out and they need to be well-rested.”
SM3: “They need to have fun and bond with their teammates too.”
Coach #2: “Be happy I’m giving you an hour, some coaches don’t let their kids swim at all.”
Me (sarcastically): “Yeah, right! Who would do that?” (SIDEBAR: Coach #3 = NO swimming.)
Coach #2: “They’ll have to find a different way to have fun and bond.”

I looked at SM3 and we got to work on that different way. We created a scavenger hunt that sent the girls all over the hotel to find different clues that that we had placed in various places. The clues all rhymed and SM3 and I had a lot of fun doing it. We had a few cheap prizes for all the girls and SM3’s mom made each girl an embroidered chapstick holder for their bag.

And that’s how Game Night at the hotel was born. The games have gotten much more elaborate – and so have the prizes.

We have played Soccer Jeopardy: We had categories like “Foul or No Foul.” We had pictures of the girls on the field and they had to determine whether an actual foul was taking place.

We have played Futbol Feud: “100 soccer parents surveyed (by me and SM3), “Which piece of soccer equipment smells the worst?” (FYI - #1 Answer – Shin Guards.)

We have played Kicktionary: A soccer version of Pictionary.

And most recently this past weekend, “I Survived a Soccer Game Show”– loosely based on “I Survived a Japanese Game Show.” We had the girls running around with cups of popcorn on their feet. We had them heading soccer balls into buckets. We had them digging for golf tees in buckets of shaving cream, cold spaghetti and JELLO.

The girls laughed a lot. We laughed a lot.

A couple of years ago, one of the parents came up to me and SM3 and said, “Thanks for doing this…. They will always remember this part.” I sort of shrugged my shoulders and thought “Eh, Whatever.”

But Sunday morning at the continental breakfast while about half the girls were eating cold cereal and bananas, I asked them, “What was your favorite game we have done so far?”

One of them said she liked the Soccer Jeopardy. I said, “How’d we do in that tournament?” Another girl answered, “I don’t know – we won I think.”

In Futbol Feud – she gets a BIG RED X. We didn’t win. We didn’t place. We tied one, lost one and won one. It was an awful weekend…. at the fields. The hotel must have been okay. Just goes to prove that soccer is more than just soccer.

One day, SM3 and I are going to sit down and write a small book about these games we have created to sell to other soccer moms and we are going to make a small fortune. Or at least enough to pay for dinner.

Sometimes.... Soccer is Dumb.

First let me say, I’ve been wanting to write a blog for a long time. But, I haven’t had the time and I haven’t really had a topic to write about. Well – I’ve had a lot of topics to write about, but not one that I could write about coherently without infuriating myself.

For all the good and fun that soccer is on the front end, there is definitely some serious behind-the-scenes BS that goes along with it.

Let’s start with try-outs. Try-outs are almost ridiculous. At MyGirl’s club, you can go to 2-3 try-outs and supposedly a non-partial evaluator scores you. Girls with like scores are put on the same team for an entire year. That SOUNDS fair, but is it?

What if you have a bad day at the fields and you leave there feeling like Charlie Brown with Lucy pulling the ball out from under you at every kick.

(Just a side bar – Lucy annoys me and if I was her mom, I’d beat her – to a pulp.)

What if you have a GREAT day and every pass or shot you take is perfect? It’s like your ruby red cleats have a spell on them cast by Mia Hamm’s fairy godmother.
Either way, there’s a chance you end up on a team you’re not supposed to be on.

What’s the solution? I don’t know.

This year at our club, one of the age groups was picked in the craziest way I have ever heard of in Travel Soccer. They had try-outs and didn’t have enough to roster two teams. So they had make-up try-outs. The first “x” number of people to get their paperwork handed in at the make-up try-outs, made the team.

Can you hear the manager explaining this method? “So, ummm, we’re not playing A/B or Parity soccer – we’re playing first-come, first-served soccer. Ummm, you’re daughter’s not the best soccer player we had come out, you just happened to show up first. So, congratulations on your timeliness!”

My biggest mistake this year was not having MyGirl try out for more than one club. I don’t know what the heck I was thinking. I feel 100 percent sure we would have stayed with our current club in then end, but it sure would be nice to feel like MyGirl had a choice. Next year, she will.

Here’s something that shocked me too. When I said to some of my friends that I wished I would have taken MyGirl somewhere else to try out – people gave me a loyalty speech.

For real?? Loyalty to whom/what? The team?? The club???? Is the team or club loyal to MyGirl?

I can answer that without question with a resounding “NO.”

Trust me, if MyGirl was at the bottom of the skills totem pole at a try out, they wouldn't keep her because of her loyalty to the team thus far. They would cut her and never look back. (Well, unless we got our paperwork turned in on time.... then I guess we'd have a small chance.)

Loyalty in travel soccer comes in 10 month spurts. You sign with a team and you are loyal to them for those 10 months. And then you move on – new year, new team. Sometimes - new uniform.

Over the past two years, MyGirl’s team has gained two players from other clubs and the team has welcomed the girls. For the most part, I don’t know why they left their old clubs. And I can guarantee you that MyGirl doesn’t care. She’s just glad to have them as teammates this year! And for the next 10 months, we will all be loyal to one another.

The bottom line is - you have to look out for your own kid, because no one else is going to. Every team in every age group at every club is different.

Okay – that’s it for now, but know this: There is plenty more behind-the-scenes soccer nonsense that goes on.

The new soccer season has begun and we go on our first road trip this Saturday. Woo Hoo!! Wish us luck!

BTW - MyGirl broke that tooth again. Another permanent crown next week. Or should I say, "temporarily permanent."